


Look Through His Eyes

by LightDressedAsSatan2MakeUp4HisGodComplex (Wonderlandian_Geek)



Series: Look Through His Eyes (Death Note LawLight soulmate AU) [1]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Love, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Eventual Fluff, Fix-It of Sorts, Gay Yagami Light, Happy Ending, I promise!!, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kinda, L Needs a Hug (Death Note), L and the wammy’s bois are brothers, M/M, Minor Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl, Mystery, Not Beta Read, One-Sided Amane Misa/Yagami Light, Other tags to be added, Poetry, Romance, Yagami Light is a Little Shit, Yagami Light swears a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:08:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderlandian_Geek/pseuds/LightDressedAsSatan2MakeUp4HisGodComplex
Summary: L has a soulmate. It’s rare, and soul-fated are highly praised by society, making it just another reason for his parents to be proud of him. If only they knew what he was convinced of.L also has a soulmate, although nobody knows. He can’t afford to let anyone think he could be easily distracted. They converse through their marks at least once per day, and L quite enjoys their company.One day, Light watched a black leather-bound journal fall from the sky outside his school.
Relationships: Amane Misa/Yagami Light, L/Yagami Light, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl
Series: Look Through His Eyes (Death Note LawLight soulmate AU) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021902
Comments: 70
Kudos: 235





	1. Secrets & Lies

Light Yagami has had a soulmate since he was fourteen. Well, he supposes he had a soulmate long before then, but the connection presented itself on his fourteenth birthday. 

Being soul-fated is rare, and generally praised by society. So his connection is really just another reason for his parents to be proud of him, on top of his good grades and aspirations of being a detective like his father. He doesn’t know why they were so surprised when it happened though, since his parents are soulmates as well. 

At least they don’t know what Light does about his soulmate.

Which, granted, isn’t much. But he’s not entirely sure how they’d react if he told them that his soulmate is a man. Or that his soulmate is more than five years older than him. 

The two of them only had a few specific rules:

  1. They are able to communicate between 9-10 PM, Japan time. His soulmate is almost always busy, so Light’s usually the one to initiate a conversation and it is easier for him to have a set time. Outside of this hour, they only write to each other if they absolutely have to.
  2. They do not tell each other their names, contact information, or any details of their personal life. They only share very vague details, and only when it is relevant to the topic. For example, Light knows that his soulmate has three adoptive younger brothers, and Light’s soulmate knows he has a younger sister. 
  3. Until Light’s next birthday, they can’t speak about meeting up in any way, shape, or form. Light knows that his soulmate is at least five years older than him, and they want to wait until he is at least eighteen to even think about meeting in person.



He doesn’t _know_ his soulmate is male; it’s more an assumption based on his speech pattern and handwriting. On the other hand, his soulmate had confirmed that his connection had appeared for him about four years later than it does for most people, and the average is about sixteen. So that made him probably about twenty on Light’s fourteenth birthday. 

One thing he doesn’t know about his soulmate is how he feels about Kira. Light hopes that he’s a supporter, since he knows that they both share a staunch sense of justice. But at the same time, his soulmate’s sense of justice could cause him to look down on Kira for killing so many people.

To look down on _Light_ for killing so many people. 

Nothing else he’s ever wondered about his soulmate has felt anywhere _near_ as important as this. He supposes he could just…

Ask him.

* * *

L also has a soulmate. However, nobody knows. Not even Watari. He can’t afford to allow people to think he could be easily distracted by something like that. 

He knows the rules, and he follows them as much as he is willing. But he also knows that his soulmate lives in Japan, and as soon as his private jet had entered Japan’s boundaries to investigate the Kira case, he’d felt the urge to whip out his pen and write: ‘ _I’m in Japan._ ’ And it had only gotten stronger when he’d mentioned in their conversation that day that he’d had an overnight flight and his soulmate had asked him where he was now. Instead, he’d simply said: ‘ _I can’t say this time._ ’

He couldn’t tell him, both because of their own personal rules, and because he knew that having his soulmate nearby _would_ end up distracting him. Distracting him from the most complicated case of his career, which needs his full attention twenty-four seven. Well, maybe twenty-three seven. 

When they’d agreed on Rule One, he’d informed Watari that he’d decided he wanted to take a one hour nap every twenty-four hours and that he was not to be disturbed during that time. Watari need never know that he usually ends up spending that one hour he’s supposed to be napping conversing with his soulmate instead.

L sighs and glances at the clock in his hotel room. 8:58. He’d just finished a phone call with the NPA and is now going over some of the case files of the murders and replaying the conversation with the other detectives in his mind. Any minute now, his soulmate should pick up his red pen and start writing on his arm, allowing L a break. 

Five minutes later, nothing. L frowns as he looks at the clock again, brow pinching. His eyes dart between his arm and the clock, making sure he hadn’t missed anything. No, he hadn’t accidentally ignored the tingling sensation of their connection opening, like he’s been known to do in the past. 

Another few minutes later, he decided to take it into his own hands. He pushes himself out of his chair and walks to the bedroom area of the hotel room.

“I’m going to take my nap now,” he says as he passes his elderly handler.

Watari only nods kindly in response, eyes glued to his computer screen like normal. 

L locks the bedroom door behind him, immediately pulling his blue pen out of his pocket. As he walks over to the bed to sit down, he rolls up his left sleeve and writes a message.

* * *

Light’s phone starts beeping, bringing him out of his intense focus on his Death Note lying open on his desk in front of him. He pulls it out of his pocket to turn off the alarm. 9:00. The time he and his soulmate have set aside for their one-hour conversation each day.

He rolls up his sleeve, pulls the red pen he always uses out of his pencil holder, and holds it over his arm.

And freezes.

He doesn’t know what to say. He’d been waiting for this moment all day, but now that it comes down to it, he just can’t get the words out. 

The question he wants to ask doesn’t break any of their rules, but it’s still a weird thing to think about. The person on the other end of this connection, he’s the only thing he’s worried about. The only thing stopping him from going ahead with his plans. He isn’t sure how he’ll react. Maybe it’s a childish thought, but he hopes he would be okay with it. And that, someday, maybe they could rule together.

”Whatcha’ staring at your arm for, Light?” Ryuk’s gravelly voice asks from behind him.

Light huffs and slumps in his seat, dropping the pen onto the desk. He rolls his head back to glare at the Shinigami standing next to his bed. “I’m trying to figure out how to word this message. I-“

A tingling sensation runs up his left arm.

His soulmate!

He swivels around in his chair to face his desk and puts his arm into the dim glow from his lamp, so he can read the words as they appear on his skin. 

_Nearly 9:15 your time and not even a hello? I’m surprised. Normally you’re more punctual than this._

Light smiles fondly at the familiar blue ink and chuckles under his breath. Had it really been almost fifteen minutes? Probably not. More likely, his soulmate was just exaggerating. He picks his pen back up and jots down a response.

_Sorry. I got caught up studying for my university entrance exams. They’re only a few weeks away._

He sits back in his chair to wait for the response he knows will come. And a few seconds later, it does.

_I’d wish you luck, but I don’t think you’ll need it._

Light bites back a smile as he writes “ _Thanks._ ”

It wouldn’t be _that_ weird, right? It’s been in the news all over the world by now, and the broadcast where he’d killed Lind L. Taylor, thinking he was the detective L, is making the rounds right now. So, it’d be okay if he asks him, right?

He figures now that they’re talking, he might as well just go ahead and ask.

* * *

_So, what do you think about all of this ‘Kira’ stuff?_

L hums and adjusts his seating—or rather, squatting—position, his gaze locked on the newest red marks on his arm. He knew that his soulmate was going to bring it up sooner or later, but a small part of him had hoped he wouldn’t.

”I can’t tell you what I think because I’m the lead detective working on the case and saying that breaks Rule Two,” he murmurs sarcastically.

He contemplates his answer, chewing on the end of his blue pen. He’s about eighty-seven percent sure that his soulmate wasn’t a Kira supporter, but there’s always that other thirteen percent to worry about. Oftentimes, his soulmate falls into that category.

Finally, he settles on an answer and quickly scrawls it across his arm.

_I’m not quite sure what to think. I mean, so far he’s only killed criminals, which I guess is good. But, at the same time, he’s still killing. And a lot, at that. And nobody really knows how he does it. I don’t think any one person should be allowed to pass judgement on so many people like this. If what Kira is doing can be called ‘judgement.’_

He sighs and sits back, sticking his pen back in his mouth. His soulmate should likely be switching to his other arm for the next message he writes, since L had to write the last few words of his answer in his bicep. He’s at least glad that they’re both ambidextrous, leaving them more room to write and still have their messages be legible.

The tingle along his right arm confirms it.

He lets go of his pen, keeping it between his teeth, and rolls up his other sleeve to read the new message.

_I understand. I guess I can see both sides. Maybe we should talk about something else._

L nods, despite the fact that he knows his soulmate can’t see him.

_Yes, that sounds like a good idea. Would you like me to quiz you for your entrance exams again?_


	2. Stalemate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light meets an... interesting character at his university entrance exams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I came up with this idea literally right after I posted the first chapter, so I didn't do it right away, but I changed it when I posted the bonus chapter. I’m going to be naming the chapters after the songs from the musical that take place around the same time. IDK, it’s funny to me.
> 
> I did this instead of going to play practice, LOL.

One of the only things that Light doesn't like about having a soulmate are the very strict rules that most schools employ when it comes to taking tests. Those that are soul-fated must confirm with an instructor before the test begins that their arms are completely blank and they must wear long sleeves for the entirety of the exam. He understands that this is all to prevent cheating (which was very unlikely, since most people don't even _meet_ their soulmates until at least college), but it's still a hassle.

Light prefers to take showers in the evening, before nine o'clock, so the marks can fade away naturally throughout the next day. But, the morning of his university entrance exams, Light had had to take a shower to wash away any marks from his and his soulmate's conversation the night before that might not have faded while he was asleep. He hadn't bothered with his ankles though. He knows the instructor won't check there. So the only blue ink still on his body are the five little words wrapped around his ankle, an encouraging message from his soulmate.

 _You're going to do_ _great._

"And... begin!"

Light idly flips through the test packet, fully aware that everyone around him is already scribbling down answers on the Scan-Tron sheets. The scratching of pencils is all he hears for about a minute, and then the instructor starts walking down the aisle next to Light, his dress shoes clicking against the wooden floor. Light glances up, the thought entering his head that maybe the instructor is headed for him, since he's sure he's the only one in the room who hasn't picked up his pencil yet. But the instructor continues past him, and his attention returns to the test before him.

"You there! Student number one-six-two. Sit properly in your chair."

Light hums in confusion and turns to glance over his shoulder.

Seated three rows behind him is a pale man with black hair that can only be described as a mane. He's sitting awkwardly, with his feet on his chair and his knees pulled up to his chest. He wears no shoes, and both his white shirt and jeans look at least two sizes too big for him.

Light almost laughs. This guy clearly doesn't belong here. There's no way he'd get into To-oh University.

But then the strange man looks up. And makes direct eye contact with Light.

And Light finds he can't look away. His whole body tingles, and it's the same sensation he gets when he opens his soul connection.

The instructor snaps, yelling at them to keep their eyes on their own test, and the eye contact is broken. And the tingling sensation disappears.

* * *

Three months later, Light finally learns who the strange man at the entrance exams was.

L.

Fucking _L._

The world's greatest detective.

The man who is currently leading the Kira investigation.

He pounds his desk and yells in frustration. He can't believe it. L _got_ him.

He hears Ryuk somewhere behind him, trying to calm him down, but he can't care less. He needs to figure out how to get rid of L without putting a giant arrow above his head for the task force that says "hey, look at me! I'm Kira!"

Without thinking, he grabs his red pen, throws off his suit jacket, and rolls his sleeves up as far as they'll go.

* * *

_I need you to help me plan a murder._

L stifles a laugh at the message his soulmate sends him. They hadn't been speaking nearly as often as they used to since he'd asked about Kira, so L is glad to see that he might be opening back up.

"Is something the matter, Ryuzaki?" Matsuda asks.

He clears his throat and looks up at the rest of the task force. "No. Please continue working. I must step out for a minute."

The other detectives glance at each other in confusion, but nod. It's not like they can say no. Technically, L _is_ currently their boss. But it's also not like L was waiting for them to agree. He'd already jumped from his chair and was trudging over to the bedroom part of the hotel suite.

As usual, he locks the door behind him and takes out his pen as he walks to the bed.

_Oh? Did your sister do something again?_

_No! I had my university enrollment ceremony today, and I met this really annoying guy there._

L chuckles as he writes his response. He'd never known his soulmate to have this sort of temper, so it was kind of hilarious to see him getting so worked up over something like an annoying classmate. They've 'planned murders' together before, but it was usually all in good fun, and often just dissolved into either of them just complaining about the person they were 'planning to kill'. But his soulmate seemed to be taking this very seriously.

_I see. Well, let's go through the usual steps. What's his name? Do you know where he lives?_

Several minutes pass, and L is almost convinced his soulmate isn't going to respond again. But just as he grips the door handle to go back to the task force, his arm tingles again. And L actually laughs out loud.

 _No  
_ _And I don't know his name_

No punctuation. He can almost imagine his soulmate blushing in embarrassment as he writes. L jots down his response, grinning mischievously.

_Well then. If this isn't going to go anywhere else, I'll get back to work._

_Ok  
Sorry to bother you_

L frowns. No, he'd been joking. His soulmate hadn't bothered him. But, of course, sarcasm is hard to read when you don't have someone's tone of voice to go with it. Sighing, he puts his pen to his arm again.

_You didn't. I was joking. Technically, I should get back to work, but if you want to talk about it, you can._

_No, it's okay, I know you're busy. Go back to work. Catch some criminals for me?_

He smiles sadly. He knows it's not okay, but if he insists.

_Alright. And I will, Red._

He brushes off the confused stares from the Japanese detectives as he walks back into the open portion of the room, lost in his own thoughts. He returns to his seat and flips open the files he'd been reading before again, pretending to continue working on the case.

In all reality, he's replaying the conversation with his soulmate. He's always known that they're both emotionally stunted, but he'd never thought that his soulmate would take one of his sarcastic comments-which he's usually so good at realizing are sarcastic-the wrong way.

L shakes his head. No, this is exactly why he can't let people know he has a soulmate. They'd think he gets distracted often. And if he does get distracted, _especially_ during this case, it could mean his death. So, he tears his mind away from his words on his arm and forces it back onto the papers and screen in front of him.

* * *

Light stares at his arms, embarrassed. He shouldn't have brought this up to his soulmate. Usually, when they need to complain like he wanted to, it's someone they know super well, most often Sayu or one of his soulmate's brothers. Not someone who may or may not be who he says he is, and either way it's not like he can tell his soulmate.

Then something occurs to him. If L is coming after him directly...

He throws his head back and laughs.

"This is perfect," he tells Ryuk, "There's no reason for me to be worried. After all, this is proof that they don't have anything on me yet. So this whole thing is nothing more than a contest between L and me. A match of wits.

"On the surface we'll be two friendly classmates. But in reality, we'll _actually_ be investigating each other. This is interesting, Ryuga. If it's my friendship you want, I'll gladly accept it. In time I'll earn your trust. And once you've told me what I want to know, there'll be no point keeping you alive. Then I will kill you..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna focus more on the actual ceremony at first, but then I re-watched the episode that this takes place during, and I figured it would be kinda boring. And then this idea popped into my head instead, so this is what I wrote. Not totally happy with it, but I think it works. 
> 
> Next chapter is the tennis scene!! *blares _Playing His Game_ *


	3. Playing His Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L asks Light to play a game of tennis with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re at the tennis scene!! I think this is probably my fave scene in the anime, LOL. And my fave song in the musical. Once again I say, *blares _Playing His Game_ *

Light grimaces at his arms. His soulmarks might be faded, but they’re still visible. Well, it wasn’t exactly his fault. L— _ Ryuga _ —had asked him to play tennis out of nowhere that morning, and he hadn’t had time to wash off the marks from his conversation with his soulmate last night. Still, it’s frowned upon to ‘flaunt’ your soulmarks, or have them visible in public. At least they’re not as bright as they would be if they were fresh. 

It doesn’t help that L’s first word to him when they met up at the tennis court was “Soulmarks?”

“Um, yeah,” Light says, setting his tennis bag down on a bench, “You know everything about me, so you definitely know I have a soulmate, right? I should be in the soulmate database online.”

“Yes, I do and yes, you are. May I see them?” Without waiting for an answer, L’s hand shoots out and grabs one of Light’s wrists. 

“Hey!” Light shouts, wrenching his hand from L’s grasp. “No! No, you may  _ not _ see my soulmarks! Don’t you know how rude it is to demand something like that?”

L simply blinks and shrugs, putting his arm at his side again. “No, I didn’t. I apologize. May I ask though, why you are so hesitant to let me see? I don’t think you’re hiding anything, I’m just curious.”

Light sighs and tugs on the short sleeves of his polo, wishing he’d worn something with longer sleeves. “It’s just… rude. And anyway, my conversations with my soulmate are private. They’re supposed to stay between me and him—uh, her. I just don’t feel comfortable sharing them with anyone else.”

Either L doesn’t notice his slip up on the pronouns, or, if he does, he doesn’t show any reaction. “I see. You’ve never met them, correct? And yet you feel so strongly for them.”

Light smiles at his arm fondly. “Yeah. I love him.” He doesn’t bother correcting himself this time, too surprised by the other words that came out of his mouth. He’s never thought of how he feels for his soulmate before, he’s always known that they’re meant for each other, so he  _ has _ to love him, at least when they meet for the first time and get to know each other. But… he realizes he already does. He loves his soulmate. L’s right, they’ve never met face to face, but their nightly conversations are enough for him to get a good picture of who his soulmate is as a person. And he loves him. He wants to meet him  _ so _ badly, but when he’d asked a few days after his birthday, his soulmate had told him he was too busy. That he’d let him know when he’s ready to meet in person.

Light shakes his head, bringing himself out of his thoughts. Too late, he realizes he's just admitted one of, if not his  _ only _ weaknesses to his mortal enemy. But he can’t take it back now. He turns back to his tennis bag on the bench and pulls out his racket. “I have to admit, I was surprised, Ryuga. I never thought you’d ask me to play tennis as a way to get to know each other.”

“Is it a problem for you?” L asks.

“Not at all,” Light chuckles, starting to walk over to the empty court. “But when you first invited me to play, did you know how good I was?”

“Yes,” L says, following him, “I’ll be fine, though. It’s been a while, but at one time I was actually the British Junior Champion.”

The  _ British _ Junior Champion? If Light asks L if he’s British, would he think he’s trying to find out more about him because he’s Kira? Well, can’t hurt to try.

“Ryuga, were you raised in the UK?”

“I lived in England for about five years when I was younger. But save your breath. Nothing in that story would reveal L’s true identity, I promise you.”

* * *

“Well, since it’s our first match, why don’t we just play a single set? First one to… six?”

“That’s fine by me.”

L stands across the net from Light, bouncing the tennis ball against the ground of the court. He has to admit, he’d been surprised by the fading blue and pink marks on Light’s arms. Of course, he  _ had _ known of the stigma against showing others your soulmarks in Japan. He’d honestly just been curious. Despite the fact that he was wearing his usual long-sleeve shirt and oversize jeans, he’d washed his own marks off as soon as the nightly conversation was over, just in case. 

But now is not the time to think of his or Light’s soulmates. 

This is just a friendly game of tennis. Nothing more. In and of itself, it won’t determine if Light is Kira. But L knows Kira hates to lose. And he’s going to use that to his advantage. 

He quickly flicks the tennis ball into the air and hits it as hard as he can, sending it speeding over the net. Light doesn’t even react. 

“Fifteen - Love,” L says, calling the score. 

Light smirks and straightens. “Whoa, Ryuga, you sure don’t mess around.”

“He who strikes first, wins,” L replies.

* * *

  
Half an hour later, they’re still playing and have gathered quite the crowd, including two refs. Light’s classmates watch in shock, completely unaware that the two are playing a complicated mental game and internally screaming at each other. 

All thoughts of soulmates have slipped from their minds, both completely focused on trying to out-strategize each other.

Finally:

“Game and set! Won by Light Yagami! Six games to four!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a bit short, but I got the soulmate shenanigans that I wanted to get into it, and I don’t really want to add anything for the rest of the episode. So, yee
> 
> Next chapter we meet Misa. 🙄


	4. I’ll Only Love You More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A strange girl shows up at Light’s door, begging to be his girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this instead of finishing my final for Creative Writing, LOL. And it's due today, too... whoops. Oh well. Also, we're working on editing our poems next week, so if anyone wants me to post the updated version of 'The Same Man' (the poem from Chap. 2) when I finish it, then let me know!
> 
> Also, if you haven't read it already, plz go check out my other LawLight fic, a one shot called "Dancing Around the Subject". Basically: Light does ballet and he decides at some point during the Yotsuba arc that he's way out of practice and puts on a little mini showcase for L in the middle of the night. It's very fluffy and very cute, and I love it.

Light stares in disbelief at the blonde in front of him. Had she really just asked that? Had she _really_ just asked if he would make her his girlfriend? He subconsciously glances at his arms, which, admittedly, are bare. But still, if she'd found out everything about him just from knowing his name, then, just like L, she _has_ to know he has a soulmate.

"Girlfriend?" he asks.

"Yes," Misa responds.

Behind him, Ryuk starts to laugh.

If she finds out Light's manipulating her and gets hurt, she'd probably kill him. Still...

He sits forward and shakes his head. "Impossible. The day you and I were in Aoyama, there were three times the usual number of surveillance cameras around. Anyone who was in Aoyama on the twenty-second would've definitely been caught on camera. That includes me. If you and I were seen together, it wouldn't look very good. In fact, even being here together right now is a problem." If Misa isn't aware that he has a soulmate, then he isn't going to bring it up. He'd rather logic his way out of this like normal than show off his soul connection. "I wish you'd understand that."

"But look," Misa says, handing him two photographs. They're both of a girl with short black hair and glasses, wearing a black and red sailor outfit. "These are pictures of me when I went to Aoyama that day."

"Well, I'm sure no one would recognize her from this," Ryuk says as Light looks over the photos.

"And what about your fingerprints?" Light says, still looking for a way out, "All those tapes you sent to the TV station. They all had the same fingerprints on them."

"Yeah, but those weren't _my_ fingerprints," Misa says, sounding defensive, "It's not like I do these things without thinking about them first.

"Up until recently, I lived in the Kansai region. And I had this friend who was into the occult. I suggested that we distribute this fake poltergeist video I had made to a bunch of different TV shows, sort of as a prank. And she agreed to help me with it. I had her take care of all of the dubbing so my fingerprints wouldn't be on the tapes. Then I took them from her, added the Kira graphic, and recorded the message with that voice effect."

"And this 'friend' you made the tapes with? Where is she now?" Light asks.

"Why're you doing this to me? If you want me to kill her, just say so and I'll kill her!" Misa yells. "If you _really_ still can't trust me, then, here, I'll even let you hold onto my Death Note." She shoves the little black book into Light's face. "But you'd just be holding it. So, I'd still be the rightful owner of it and that means I'd get to keep my Shinigami eyes. Isn't that right, Rem?" She turns to the giant skeletal Shinigami standing next to her.

"Yes, that's right."

"Now there's no way I could possibly kill you. And if I become a burden to you then _you_ can just kill _me_ , okay?"

Why would she go this far? He still needs a way out of this, so far he's only dug himself deeper.

"But you might have removed several pages from your Death Note. You could be hiding them somewhere, for all I know."

"Why are you so suspicious of me?" Misa screams, jumping out of her chair. Tears are starting to pool at the corners of her eyes. "I already told you! I don't care, even if all you do is use me. Believe me."

"How can you say that?"

Misa sighs and falls to the floor, hugging her knees. "Exactly one year ago, my parents were killed in a robbery. I was home with them at the time. It happened right in front of me. I wanted that man to pay for what he did. But the trial dragged on forever. Opinions started surfacing that he was being falsely accused. Then it happened. Kira punished him for what he did to my parents. And that's why Kira means everything. Kira means everything to me."

"Misa," Light says. She looks up, almost hopeful. He doesn't want to play this card. But he also doesn't want to end up having to fake a relationship with this idiot girl in front of him. So he has to. "I have a soulmate, you know. And... and I know for a fact that you're not them. Everyone knows you don't have a soulmate."

* * *

In the end, even the soulmate card doesn't work. Not with how absolutely fucking terrifying Rem is when she threatens to kill him if he doesn't make Misa happy. And especially not with how he could definitely use her to kill L. So, Light has a girlfriend now. Misa Amane. He tells his family that Misa is his soulmate, that when she said on TV that she doesn't have a soulmate she was lying. Misa agreed to only stick around until he met his real soulmate, so he can't help but push harder for them to meet up during their nightly conversation. His soulmate always says no, that he's busy and can't afford to leave the case he's working on just to meet up. But he always promises that he'll let Light know when he's available and able to meet up.

L shows up at his university a few days later, when he's walking to his next class with one of his classmates, Kiyomi Takada, and offers to get cake in the cafeteria with him. And then Misa appears and introduces herself to him as Light's soulmate. And then they're swamped by Misa-Misa fans before her manager pulls her away to go to a shoot.

"I'm confused, Light," L says once Misa is out of earshot, "Didn't you say that your soulmate was male?"

Light freezes. Had he? He doesn't remember telling L anything like that. "Uh, what? When?"

"That day at the tennis court," he clarifies, "I asked how you feel about your soulmate, and you said you loved _him_. You used male pronouns. And yet, Misa is decidedly _not_ male, unless there's something she hasn't made public regarding her gender expression."

"Oh, right," Light says, laughing nervously and rubbing his neck, "No, Misa's not trans or anything. I thought they were a guy, but obviously not."

"Obviously," L hums, "Now then, perhaps we should get going."

"Yeah," Light says, "Actually, could you go on ahead? I need to go use the restroom."

"Oh, okay then, I'll see you there." L starts towards the cafeteria, and Light walks a few feet in the opposite direction.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the red phone that Misa had given him when he'd first proposed this plan and admitted that his own phone might be bugged. Misa's seen L's face, which means that she's seen L's name. All he has to do now is get Misa to tell it to him and he can write it in his Death Note. And then there'll be nobody left to stop Kira.

_It's over. It's been fun, L._

He dials the number Misa told him would call her personal phone and puts the phone to his ear. He hears Misa's ringtone from somewhere behind him. He turns around, confused.

And spots L staring down at a pink flip phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've spent the last few days watching the J-Drama between classes and I'm f******* addicted. I'm on episode seven and I am SO CURIOUS what TF is going on with Near and Mello (no spoilers, plz).
> 
> Next chapter is Misa and Light’s confinement. And L makes a concerning discovery regarding his soulmate...


	5. Borrowed Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light offers himself up for confinement and L makes a concerning discovery regarding his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. This is... a bit sooner than normal, to say the least, LOL. But I’m currently having a panic attack about the finals that I mentioned last chap and I figured this was as good a way as any to calm myself down. I already had this half written and I decided to just finish it up. So have two chapters in one day, instead of with a three day gap. Enjoy! This will probably never happen again.

Now that he’s got everything with the Death Notes squared away, Light only has one more thing to do before he gives himself up to L. Unsurprisingly, it’s the hardest out of all of the steps. Which is probably why he’d subconsciously saved it until last, while he’s riding the bus on his way to L’s hotel.

He sighs and reaches into his pocket. Only to realize that, in his haste to get the Death Notes to the spot in the forest, he’d forgotten a pen.

 _Stupid,_ Light berates himself as he leans forward to the woman seated in front of him.

“Excuse me?” he asks, politely tapping her on her shoulder.

The woman looks at him over her shoulder. “Yes?”

“Um, do you by chance have a pen I could borrow?” He laughs. “I forgot mine at home, and I kinda wanna write to my soulmate.”

“Oh! Of course!” She smiles kindly and pulls a blue pen from her purse, quickly handing it over to him. “Keep it, it only cost a few yen, and I have an extra.”

“Thank you,” he says as he sits back and rolls up his sleeve.

_Hi. Sorry, I know it’s the wrong time, and that I stole your color, haha. I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to write for a while. I don’t know how long, and please don’t ask why. Again, sorry._

Light doesn’t bother waiting for a response, tucking the pen into his pocket and pulling out his phone. He calls L, who picks up almost immediately. No surprise there.

“Ryuzaki. You’re still in the same place as last time?”

_“Yes.”_

“Good.” He makes sure to talk quietly, so nobody on the bus can hear him. “I’m coming by. I... I think I _could_ be Kira.”

_“Yes, I understand. We’ll be expecting you in room K2801.”_

And the detective hangs up.

Light sighs and allows himself a glance at his arm. Still no response from his soulmate. He’s just as surprised by that as he was by L picking up right away. That is to say, he’s not surprised at all.

A few minutes later, he’s hopping off the bus and walking the last block and a half to the hotel. Matsuda meets him in the lobby and brings him up to the room that is currently serving as Task Force Headquarters.

He slowly walks into the center of the room. He’s distinctly aware of Aizawa, Matsuda, and his father’s eyes on him, although he’s staring straight at L.

“Ryuzaki. Like I said over the phone... I could be Kira.”

His father gasps and rushes over to him, shaking him by the shoulders. “No, Light! What are you talking about? Why would you even say something like that? Why?”

Light’s still staring straight at L. He knows he doesn’t buy this one bit, because he never does. Really, this is all show of his father and the other NPA officers. Finally, he looks away from L, making eye contact with his dad before averting his eyes to look at the floor beside Aizawa’s feet.

“Look dad, if Ryuzaki _is_ L, then it’s safe to say that he’s the world’s best detective. And right now, he seems pretty sure that I’m Kira. We know L’s never been wrong before.”

“Wh-what are you saying, Light!” his father stammers, “Stop this!”

“What about that FBI agent? Raye Penber? It was me he was investigating immediately before he died. And I was in Aoyama on May twenty-second. Also, I’m the first person in the Kanto region that Misa, the alleged second Kira, approached. It’s all been me! If I were in L’s place, even I would have come to the same conclusion. You see, subconsciously I might be Kira. If that were the case, I could be him and not even know it.”

“No, Light,” his father says quietly.

It takes a lot of convincing, but, finally, L agrees to put him in solitary confinement until he’s completely cleared of suspicion.

All according to his plan.

* * *

Thirty days into Light’s confinement—thirty days into complete radio silence from his soulmate—L can’t take it anymore.

The killings re-started fifteen days ago, with two weeks’ worth of criminals dying in less than a day. But that isn’t what L is concerned with at the moment.

Right now, he just wants to talk to his soulmate.

He knows that his soulmate told him he wasn’t going to be able to speak for a while, and that he didn’t know how long, but L had never expected it to be a month. They’ve never gone this long without writing to each other, not in the almost four and a half years since their connection presented itself.

He sighs and pushes himself out of his chair, eyes still on the monitors showing the live feed from the three different cells. “I am going to the restroom. Mogi, Aizawa, please inform me if anything happens. Oh, Matsuda you too.”

The three other detectives nod as he turns and trudges to the bathroom, already fiddling with the blue pen in his pocket. He locks the door behind him, pulls out his pen, and rolls up his sleeve.

He hesitates for just a second before scrawling a quick message and settling onto the bathroom floor to wait.

_Hello. I know you said you wouldn’t be available for a while. But I just wanted to know if you’re still alive?_

Of course he knows his soulmate is still alive. Everyone always says that when your soulmate dies, all you can feel for twenty-four hours is dread and depression. L has had no such feeling.

So, he resolves to sit and wait for five minutes. If he gets no response in that time, he’ll go back to the task force and act as if nothing happened.

His five minutes ends up being thirty seconds, once he hears the screaming coming from one of the microphones in the other room.

_“PLEASE!Please let me out! At least unchain me, just let me see it! RYUZAKI! Please, let me see what he’s saying! I haven’t spoken to him in so long...”_

L bursts out of the bathroom, shoving his pen in his pocket and yanking his sleeve down his arm. “What is happening?” he asks Aizawa as he climbs back into his chair.

“I... I don’t know,” Aizawa says, dumbfounded at the desperate expression on Light’s face as he continues screaming and pleading. “I think... I think his soulmate might have written to him!”

L blinks in surprise. His gaze subconsciously flicks down to his forearm, where he’d just written to his _own_ soulmate. Could it be?

No. No, his soulmate could _not_ be _Kira_ , if all people.

“But, isn’t Misa his soulmate?” Matsuda asks, “She’s still in confinement, she can’t have written to him!”

“Obviously not,” L drawls, gaining control of himself again. Best not to think of that right now. It could wait until later, when the rest of the task force aren’t breathing down his neck about releasing Light, Misa, and Soichiro.

He reaches out to the microphone in the middle, pressing the button that will allow him to speak to the occupant of the cell.

“Light,” he says, cutting off his desperate screams. Light looks at the camera hopefully, attempting to wipe away the tears rolling down his face with his shoulders.

“Unfortunately, I cannot let you out, nor can I let you see your soulmarks.”

Light’s face falls again, and more tears threaten to spill out of his eyes.

“However, I take this to mean Misa is not your soulmate? Not only is she still in confinement, she is currently asleep. Also, you are once again using masculine pronouns when referencing them, like you did that day at the tennis court.”

Light bows his head in defeat, sniffling and nodding. “Yes. Misa Amane is not my soulmate. She never has been, and she never will be.”

L hums and moves his hand from the second mic to the third one. “Mr. Yagami.” Soichiro glances up at the camera, nodding for L to continue. “What can you tell me about Light’s soulmate?”

“Ryuzaki!” He hears Aizawa and Matsuda gasp behind him, and he knows they’re probably wondering why he cares so much, combined with how rude it is information about others’ soulmates. Oh well, he can explain it away later. Right now, he’s just trying to prove to himself that Light isn’t his soulmate.

Even if a part of him discreetly hopes he is.

“Isn’t Misa his soulmate?” Soichiro asks, confused.

“Apparently not,” L says, “because your son claims his soulmate just wrote to him, and Misa is completely unable of doing so. So, please tell me everything you knew about Light’s soulmate before he met Misa.”

Soichiro frowns, considering his words carefully. “I don’t know much. He’s always been very secretive about her. I know she’s highly intelligent, that she’s just as smart as him, if not smarter. She’s also incredibly busy, so oftentimes Light is the one to start a conversation. They try to speak every day, around the same time. Eight, I think? Maybe nine.”

L’s mind reels. There’s no way. It has to be a coincidence. Light Yagami, _Kira_ , can _not_ be his soulmate. Of course, there’s no way to be sure until he can actually see Light’s marks with his own eyes, but the likelihood is increasing by the second.

”Thank you,” he says to Soichiro, his voice clipped. He pulls his hand away from the microphone and tucks it between his knees and his chest.

L’s never believed in a God, not even the Shinigami that both BB and the second Kira claimed exist. But right now, he finds himself praying to whatever higher being is out there, if there is one, that Light Yagami is either not Kira, or not his soulmate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half of this chap may or may not be the whole reason I wrote this fic... At the very least, it’s the first scenario I thought of when I came up with this idea.
> 
> Next chap is the start of the Yotsuba arc! I read somewhere that people don’t like Yotsuba!Light and... HOW?? He’s so cute!!
> 
> Speaking of cute... J-Drama!L has officially turned me straight. I am no longer lesbian, my sexuality is now women, ballerinos, and J-Drama!L. I actually cried when he died


	6. When Love Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and the others are released from confinement. But L wants to keep his eyes on Light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet baby Yotsuba!Light is here! This is just kinda scenes in between what we get to see in the anime, like the first two chapters were. So just assume that everything is happening 100% the same, just with soulmate shenanigans in the background.
> 
> Did I re-watch the entire Yotsuba arc just for this one chapter? Yes, yes I did.  
> Do I regret it? No, no I do not.

Light yelps as L drags him into the bathroom. He really hates these goddamn handcuffs. But if L thinks they're necessary, then he'll put up with them. He'll do anything to prove his innocence because _he is not Kira,_ no matter how much the detective seems to think he is.

"I'm sorry," L says, pulling Light out of his thoughts. "I forgot to warn you. I take a shower at the same time every night. Nine o'clock, exactly. And I usually don't get out until around ten. I'm sure you'll find something to entertain yourself." And with that, he strips, steps into the shower, and pulls the curtain closed behind him, leaving Light standing in shock in the middle of the bathroom.

He never would've thought that L takes a shower _ever,_ much less every night. But if L says he does, that Light isn't going to stop him. Besides, he has something more important to attend to.

He pulls his red pen out of his pocket and sits down against the wall of the bathroom, slipping off his shirt. It's easier to talk to his soulmate if he has most of his torso available to write on.

He's glad that L's shower time lines up perfectly with his designated hour to converse with his soulmate.

\---

L does not, in fact, shower every night. More like every three days, if that. He’s surprised that Light accepted his lie so readily. Well, he didn’t give him much time to register it, so he figures he had no choice. Oh well. It's all a precaution, anyway.

If he's in the shower while he speaks to his soulmate, the marks will come off almost immediately if he wants them to. If Light _is_ his soulmate, he can't risk letting him know just yet. He can't let it slip until he's 100% sure that Light isn't Kira. And if Light isn't his soulmate, well, he can't let him know that he has one and risk ruining his reputation.

He feels his arm tingle, and holds it up to watch the red words appear. He isn't sure whether or not he expected his soulmate to return, but it's obvious they have.

That's an 84% chance that Light is his soulmate.

_Hi. I'm really, really, really sorry I was gone for so long. I didn't expect it to be anywhere near that long. I thought maybe a week or two? Not anywhere near a month and a half. Anyway, I'm back. And I understand if you're pissed at me. You have every right to be. But still, please don't ask why I was gone._

L sighs and pulls out the blue pen he'd had hidden in the shower, placed inside an old empty bottle of shampoo. He waits just a second, and then writes a response.

_It's quite alright, Red. I'm just glad you're okay._

* * *

After the stupid little stunt that Matsuda pulled, L allows the task force the rest of the night off. Everyone retires to their apartments in the headquarters building, most of them immediately flopping onto their beds and passing out.

L and Light, on the other hand, prepare for their nightly ritual: sitting on opposite sides of the shower curtain and writing to each other with their soul connection.

By now, L is 100% sure that Light Yagami is his soulmate. He just hasn’t figured out how to tell him yet. He’s going to, though. Someday.

L notices the tears that Light tries to hide. He doesn't blame him. Emotions are running high for everyone, including himself.

When Light's first message appears on his arm, he is completely unsurprised.

_One of my best friends nearly died today._

_Oh? Are you okay? Is he okay?_

_Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. He's fine too. I just can't believe it, you know?_

_I understand. I've had some close calls like that of my own._

_I'm just upset because, if we hadn't gotten him out of there, the last things I'd have said to him would've been teasing. Calling him an idiot, asking him to get coffee while the rest of us worked.  
I'm sorry to dump all this on you I ju_

_No, it's okay. Like I said, I understand. It's hard. At least your friend made it out alive, that's all that matters._

There's a long pause before he gets another message. He's almost considering checking on Light.

_Blue, do you have friends that have died?_

* * *

_Are you the moon?  
Because you’re beautiful all night and I miss you all day._

_What are you doing?  
You don’t even know what I look like._

Light laughs at his soulmate’s response to his pick-up line. But he doesn’t bother explaining, just glances at his phone and copies down the next one that he likes from the list.

_Like the moon, my thoughts revolve around you._

_That’s sweet. But we barely know each other._

_What is the cross between the moon and the stars?  
You._

_I don’t get that one._

_Honestly? I don’t either. Just thought it was cute. Anyway.  
If I was a planet and you were my moon, I’d stop spinning just to look at you._

_Cute. But again, you don’t even know what I look like._

_Will you shut up? I’m trying to be romantic._

_It’s really not working.  
Besides, I like you enough already._

_I thought we barely knew each other?_

_Shush._

_ANYWAY  
If a star fell every time I thought of you, the moon would soon be lonely._

_Then you think about me way too much.  
Are you done yet?_

_Yeah._

But he isn’t.

The pick-up lines are only step one of his plan. Step two comes at exactly nine fifty-eight. He doesn’t care what they’re talking about, since they’re most likely just going to be saying goodbye at that point. He has one last moon-related message that he wants to write to his soulmate.

He’s right. They said goodbye at nine fifty-seven, and a few seconds later he hears L turning off his shower and getting ready to come out.

Light turns to the mirror above the sink and writes the message over his collarbone, front and center among all of the ones before it. He quickly throws on his shirt, buttoning the last button just as L pushes the curtain aside.

And he freezes.

There, on L’s collarbone, is the exact message he just wrote to his soulmate.

_The moon is beautiful tonight._

All he can do is stare in shock.

Is L... no, he can’t be. If he is, he’d already know.

But he can’t deny that that is an exact replica of what is also written across his own collarbone.

L lifts a brow in confusion as he picks up a towel to dry himself off. “Is something wrong, Light?”

“R- Ryuzaki?” he says weakly, unable to say anything else.

The detective frowns and looks in the mirror. Once he spots it, he only sighs and turns to face Light again. “I see. I was going to wait until after we catch Higuchi tomorrow to tell you, but it seems that won’t be necessary anymore. Yes, Light, we are soulmates.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!! ... No, I'm not. Also, to all of y’all in the comments on the last chap, yeah, I lied. I knew I had this planned for this chapter. Again, not sorry 😜
> 
> So, you guys may have noticed, but I upped the rating and changed the warnings. Yes, there will be a little bit of rape/non-con in the chapter after next. I promise I’ll remind you guys next chap, and I’ll put a TW in the chapter too. I just wanted to let you know ahead of time because it wasn’t something I’d planned on originally. I got really pissed and stressed last night, and I wrote it and I'm actually really happy with it, even after I've calmed down, so I want to share it with you all. If it's something you're not comfortable with, I will let you know when to skip to, or if need be I’ll even provide a summary of the whole chapter in the comments.
> 
> Anyway, for now: have some more sweet baby Yotsuba!Light in the next chap. Next chap is Higuchi's arrest. And L and Light discuss this new... development.


	7. Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light discuss a new development to their relationship, and the task force finally catches Kira. Or do they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL, this is where the chapter titles get wonky, because technically the musical ends after the confinement. Oh well, I have a few ideas for what the next few chapters are going to be named. Also, this is the longest chapter so far. Makes sense tho, a lot happens in this one.
> 
> I wrote the second half of this in a rush, so I just copy and pasted the finished version of _The Same Man_ for the last little bit. IDK, I really, really like that poem, so I figured why not. I think I'm going to delete the bonus chapter, because I actually included it in the fic now, so I don't need it to be a bonus.
> 
> Anyway, have some more sweet baby Yotsuba!Light before it all goes to shit again in the next few chapters.

“So... you’re my soulmate,” Light says in awe.

He and L have relocated to their bed, figuring it would be best to discuss this somewhere other than the bathroom. L has put his pants back on, but he left his shirt off, so that Light can see the soulmark across his collarbone.

_The moon is beautiful tonight._

L might not be native Japanese, but the meaning of the phrase isn’t lost on him. He knows exactly what Light had planned, and he’s very upset that he hadn’t figured it out as soon as the moon-themed pick-up lines started appearing on his chest.

But he can’t dwell on that right now. Right now, he’s promised to answer all of Light’s questions and explain the situation to him.

He sighs and readjusts, putting a thumb to his mouth.

“Yes, and you’re mine. My soulmate, that is.” L winces internally at his phrasing. He doesn’t want it to seem like he’s going to force Light into anything. He genuinely cares for Light, has grown to enjoy his company over their several months of being chained together. So it was easy for him to reconcile his feelings for Light with his feelings for his soulmate, whom he’s felt a great deal of affection for since their connection presented itself.

He only hopes Light will be able to do the same.

“Can I...” Light trails off, hesitantly reaching out towards L, eyes on the red words beneath his throat.

The detective nods, shifting closer to the other and lowering his knees slightly. Light moves closer as well and gently runs his hand over the soulmark, feather-like touches across L’s chest. L subconsciously hums and leans into the touch, dropping his knees all the way. He turns his head to look over his shoulder, unsuccessfully hiding the blush dusting his cheekbones.

“Holy shit,” Light whispers. It still seems impossible to him, that this man that he’s looked up to so long, that he’s come to think of as his _only friend_ , is his _soulmate_. But the proof is right in front of him, and it’s undeniable.

“How long have you known?” he asks, moving his hand from L’s clavicle to his shoulder, “You seem to have accepted it by now, so it’s gotta be a long time since you found out.”

“Yes, it has been.” He turns back over his shoulder, making eye contact with Light. “If you recall, I wrote to you about halfway through your confinement. You started screaming, begging to see what your soulmate wrote.”

Now it’s Light’s turn to blush, pulling his hand back and dropping it into his lap. “God, I probably looked and sounded so desperate.”

“You did,” L says, chuckling at Light’s protesting cries. “That’s when I started to suspect that we could be soulmates. Since then, I’ve been able to get a good look at your soulmarks on several occasions. They always match mine exactly.”

The younger man nods, and the two sit in silence for a few minutes, eyeing each other and blushing. After about two or three minutes, Light breaks the silence.

“So... what now?”

L hums and pulls his knees up to his chest again. “Now, I suppose we decide how we want to go about this. I don’t want to dive into a relationship right away, for several reasons. I expect you feel the same way?” He waits for Light to nod before continuing. “But, I do know that I like you already.”

Light’s eyes widen at that, surprised by the confession. “You... you _what?”_

L nods, blushing once again. “Well, even when we were only communicating through our marks, I’ve always enjoyed being around you. You’re one of the only people besides Watari who I can hold an intelligent conversation with. You’re very kind, and you always care with your whole heart.” He pauses and smirks. “And I suppose you’re easy on the eyes, as well.”

“Hey!” Light laughs, swatting his soulmate’s knees.

His soulmate.

Holy crap, he’s already mentally calling L that. Is he okay with that? Would _L_ be okay with that? Does this mean that he’s accepted it? Or had he already?

Before he can come up with a solid answer to any of those questions, he’s pulled out of his thoughts by a pleasant sound. It takes him a few seconds to figure out where it’s coming from, but when he does his already pink cheeks turn beet red.

L is _laughing_.

He’s never seen L _laugh_.

Sure, he’s seen him smile, several times in the last few minutes in fact, but never _laugh_.

And in that moment, it’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

And in that moment, L is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. Okay, maybe not in the conventional way, but definitely in a ‘this guy is freaking adorable and I must protect him at all costs’ way.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers, not even knowing he wants to until the words are out of his mouth.

L gasps and stills, eyes boring into Light’s own. Dammit, he should’ve kept his mouth shut. He opens his mouth to take it back, to change the subject.

But then L is lowering his knees again and nodding, and that is _definitely_ meant to be taken as a ‘yes’.

So Light crawls even closer to him, until their knees bump on the mattress. He gently rests a hand on the side of L’s neck and leans in, slowly pressing his lips to the detective’s.

To his soulmate’s.

Holy _fuck_ , he’s kissing L. He’s kissing _his soulmate_. His eyes flutter closed as his other hand finds its way to L’s waist. It doesn’t go any further, just sits there, grounding both of them. He feels one of L’s hands cup his cheek, and the other rests on his chest, fiddling with the fabric of his pajama shirt.

It’s soft and sweet, neither of them trying to go any further or deepen the kiss.

Eventually, they pull apart and rest their foreheads together, both of them grinning softly. They sit in silence again, just enjoying each other’s company.

“You lied to me earlier,” Light says after a few minutes, chuckling softly.

“Did I?” L asks, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, you did.” He rolls up his sleeve, pointing to the soulmarks from their conversation earlier. “You told me that we barely knew each other, and that I didn’t know what you looked like. Technically, neither of those are true.”

L hums and nods. He looks to where Light is pointing, softly running his hands over the blue and red ink littering his skin. “I suppose I did, then.”

The devolve into silence again, each of them marveling at their own handwriting on the other’s body.

Suddenly, something occurs to Light. L said that he’s known since halfway through his confinement. If he did, then it’s been at least three months since then.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks under his breath, tears pricking at his eyes, “You’ve had every opportunity to since you found out, and you didn’t tell me until you had to. Why?”

L looks away from his arm, turning his gaze to his face instead. “I’m sorry, I really am.” He slowly reaches up and wipes his tears away, gently cupping his cheek again. “I couldn’t tell you right when I found out, because everyone else would have heard, and I can’t let anyone know I have a soulmate. I wanted to wait until my suspicions were down to zero percent, until I was completely sure you weren’t Kira. That’s why I said I wanted to wait until tomorrow night, after we catch Higuchi. You just beat me to it.” He pauses, then bows his head in shame. “And, to be honest, part of it was that I didn’t think someone like you would want someone like me.”

Light smiles and gently puts a hand under L’s chin, pulling his head up to loom at him. “It’s okay, I understand. And about that other thing. Do you remember that day at the tennis court? What I told you?”

“That it’s incredibly rude to demand information about another’s soulmate?”

“No, not that!” Light snorts and shakes his head. “The other thing. I told you that I loved him, my soulmate. That I loved you.”

“Part tense,” L notes, “Do you not still?”

“Will you shut up?” Light exclaims, laughing. He kisses L again, soft and quick but with no less meaning as the one before.

They continue talking like this for hours, only realizing at one in the morning that, hey, they’re planning a very dangerous operation for tomorrow, and maybe they should get some sleep.

* * *

Between the police blockade, and the helicopter that L is piloting, they have Higuchi cornered. He can’t go anywhere. They’ve won.

“This is it,” L whispers, subtly intertwining his hand with Light’s. “We’re finishing this tonight.”

“Ryuzaki,” Soichiro says over the intercom, “please, let me go and make the arrest.”

Mogi opens the door of his car. “I’d like to come with you, Chief, if that’s alright.”

“I understand, but remember this is Kira,” L reminds them, “Be sure to take every caution when you approach him and don’t allow him to see your face. Watari, if Higuchi tried anything or makes any sudden moves...”

“Understood,” his handler says, “I will shoot to stop him, not to kill.”

Soichiro and Mogi get out of their cars with their helmets on and slowly walk towards Higuchi’s car. Soichiro stops next to Aizawa’s car and nods to him as he rolls down the window. The two converse for a few seconds before Aizawa and several other officers get out of their cars with helmets and surround Higuchi’s car.

"Higuchi!" Soichiro calls, "Put your hands above your head and get out of the car."

Slowly, the sleazy businessman opens the door and gets out. In no time at all, the policemen have handcuffs around his wrists and a blindfold over his eyes.

"We've apprehended him," Light's father informs L.

"Mogi," Light says, "I want you to put a headset on him as planned."

"Roger," Mogi responds. He slips a headset over Higuchi's ears.

"Higuchi. How are you able to kill people?" L asks, "Tell me!"

The third Kira just grunts and turns away from the helicopter.

L pours himself a cup of tea from a thermos Watari had given him. "If you're not going to tell me, I'll use whatever means necessary to get it out of you."

Finally, Higuchi sighs and deflates. "The notebook," he murmurs.

"Notebook?"

"You probably won't believe me, but I've got this special notebook. If I write someone's name in it while thinking of their face, that person dies."

Something twinges at the back of Light's mind. That description sounds startlingly familiar, but he can't remember where. Maybe it's something he's seen in a TV show? Probably something Sayu watched if he can't remember it.

"Mr. Yagami," L says, watching Soichiro dig through Higuchi's car.

"Yeah, I found it," Soichiro responds, pulling a simple black notebook out of the car. "It was in one of the compartments of Higuchi's bag. He has written a lot of names in it, but there doesn't seem to be anything else unusual about it." Suddenly, he looks up and starts screaming. He drops the notebook and collapses backwards onto the pavement, reaching into his suit jacket for his gun, which isn't there.

"What is it Mr. Yagami?" L asks, concerned.

"It's... _a monster!"_ Soichiro cries.

"Please calm down. Don't panic; remember, you're not currently armed to defend yourself."

"Oh... oh, right, of course," he says, his voice quivering.

Mogi rushes over, crouching next to him. "Chief, hang in there. Are you alright?" He picks up the notebook.

"Mogi, can't you see that _thing_ over there?"

"Chief, I think you must be getting tired," he says, trying to calm him. He turns to look where Soichiro is shouting. And he starts screaming too, also falling backwards next to Light's father.

"Mogi, what's wrong?" Light asks.

"That... that _thing,"_ his father says, "It seems that only people who have touched the notebook can... can see this... this _monster."_

If only people who have touched the notebook can see it, L needs to get his hands on the notebook. He needs to see this so called 'monster' that his men are screaming about.

"Please bring the notebook over to the helicopter," he orders.

"Uh... o-okay." Mogi quickly stands and rushes the notebook over to him. "Here it is, Ryuzaki."

L takes the notebook into his hands and hums. Nothing feels off about it, but if Higuchi is to be believed, this is no normal notebook. He turns to look out the front of the helicopter.

And he sees it. Standing in the middle of the police officers, is what looks like a giant skeleton. It's twice the height of even the tallest of the men around it, and it has short purple hair that hangs over one of its eyes.

"It really is... a Shinigami." BB was right. They _do_ exist. The second Kira _had_ meant literal Shinigamis. God, he's so stupid for not believing them. "They really... do... exist."

So _this_ is how Kira kills. Is Light Kira? No, he can't be. He's his soulmate.

Vaguely, he hears Light begging him to let him see the book. But his thoughts are too loud, the Shinigami demands too much of his attention, and he can barely make out the words.

The second Kira... _there are two books!_ There have to be two notebooks, possibly more. This isn't over yet, after all.

He looks down at the book.

But it's gone. The notebook is no longer in his hands. Where did it go?

Light. Light took it out of his hands when he wouldn't give it to him. He looks over to the other and finds him completely still, the notebook clenched in his hands and a look of abject horror on his face.

And then he starts screaming.

Light screams as he is wrenched to the back of his mind, conscious but unable to do anything. The _thing_ that's been there, that he's tried to deny even exists, takes over, shoving him back so they switch spots.

He remembers everything.

He _was_ Kira, but he doesn't want to be anymore. He has something else to live for, now. He doesn't want to kill anyone anymore. All he wants is the man sitting next to him, that's all he needs right now.

But L is being taken from him, because someone else is taking control of his mind and body and he can't stop it.

Once the memories are done flashing in front of his eyes, he realizes something else. L is being taken from him in another way. The faded soulmarks that should still cover his arms and chest, the ones that had let him know the night before that L is his soulmate, have vanished completely.

L... isn't his soulmate anymore?

\---

_L stares as the man seated next to him  
becomes a monster.  
The same man who, only hours before,  
he’d kissed in the silent comfort of their bedroom. _

_But it’s not the same man.  
A wicked grin that L’s never seen before,  
in all their months of knowing each other,  
splits his face. _

_And his eyes.  
The same eyes that, only moments before,  
had been a golden brown  
and filled with so much concern for L,  
were now a blazing, bright red. _

_The same red as the ink that litters his arms,  
the blue ink that was L’s had disappeared  
as soon as this transformation had happened.  
L’s own arms only had blue on them,  
the red that had been there vanished  
at the same time as the blue on the other’s arms. _

_“Please,”  
he murmurs,  
his normally monotone voice  
filled with more emotion in that one moment  
than any other time in his twenty-four years of life.  
“Please, this isn’t you.  
Let me help you.” _

_He reaches out towards the other,  
trying to take back the little book  
that is causing his love so much agony.  
The same book that, only seconds before,  
he’d snatched out of L’s hands  
curious to see what it hid. _

_He is both completely taken aback,  
and not surprised at all  
when the other man slaps his hand away.  
The same man who, only minutes before,  
had helped steady his shaking hands  
as he flew the helicopter. _

No, not the same man.  
Someone completely different.  
A monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY!!!  
> ... No, no I'm not.
> 
> So, the other day I had a workshop with this super well known casting director, and I am SO GLAD I went last to recite my monologue, because the whole time I was just thinking about the Fight For Dominance in Svattii and Mishkali’s L x BB stream from a few months ago, LOL. I totally recommend their YouTube and twitch channels, they have some quality DN cosplay content, and their streams are always VERY chaotic.
> 
> Again, I apologize for changing the rating and warnings half way through writing this. Next chapter will feature a very, very short and very, very vague rape scene at the beginning, which will then be discussed throughout the rest of the chapter and into the next.


	8. See It Flicker, Hear It Humming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L doesn’t want this. Light doesn’t want this. Kira can’t decide whether or nor he wants this.
> 
> Title from “The Way It Ends” from the musical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied r*pe. If you’re not comfortable with that, skip to the big break in the middle, the part that starts with 'The morning after.’
> 
> So... I’m sorry. I warned you guys last chap. I wasn’t in a good mood when I wrote this, and I feel like it kinda shows. Not in the writing, but in the whole direction this chap takes. Also, this has been sitting in my drafts pretty much since I finished chap 6, so... yeah...

He doesn’t want this.

He doesn’t want this.

L never expected this to happen.

Sure, he and Light had talked about it the night they found out they’re soulmates, but they’d agreed to take it slow.

This, what Light is doing to him right now, is anything but slow.

But it’s not Light, and he knows it.

It’s Kira.

He grimaces.

Both at the reminder and the faint sensations between his legs.

This is the third night in a row, the fourth since his memories came back.

Since their connection was severed.

Since L lost the only person he’s ever thought he’s loved.

He doesn’t want this.

He knows Light wouldn’t want it either, if he were here.

He’d want to get to know each other better first. See if they’re compatible. See if this was something they’d enjoy doing.

He wouldn’t force himself on L the first moment he got.

That’s the only solace he’s found during these three nights.

Chanting to himself, reminding himself.

This isn’t him.

This isn’t him.

This isn’t Light.

This isn’t his soulmate.

———

He doesn’t want this.

He doesn’t want this.

He doesn’t want this.

Light never thought this could happen.

He kicks and screams and struggles.

But it’s impossible to escape when your prison is your own mind.

He still has to try.

He can’t let Kira win.

He hates everything about this situation.

The obvious pain and disassociation on L’s face. 

The glee that he knows the other inhabitant of his mind feels.

The fact that he’s helpless to do anything to prevent it.

But most of all, he hates that he can feel all of it. Every sensation. Normally, Light can’t feel anything that Kira does. But right now, he feels everything.

He has to stop this. 

He can’t let this continue.

He can’t let Kira keep hurting L.

He has to make Kira stop.

But he can’t.

He can’t do anything, no matter how hard he fights or how loud he screams.

He can’t.

He can’t.

He can’t.

He can’t save L.

He can’t save his soulmate.

———

He doesn’t want this.

He wants this.

He doesn’t want this.

He wants this _so bad._

Kira never thought he would be able to get this to happen.

He never thought he’d be able to get L, his rival, in this position.

Underneath him.

Completely vulnerable, completely under his control.

Sure, he doesn’t want the goddamn _feelings_ for L that the other person in his head has.

But he also doesn’t want to let L away from him ever again.

He knows that the detective knows he’s Kira again. After all, he’s Light’s soulmate, not Kira’s. But that only makes this more enjoyable for him.

To know that, at the same time that he’s dominating L, he’s also beating that lovesick idiot kicking and screaming in his head.

He hates it.

He loves it.

He hates it.

He loves it.

He hates L.

He loves his soulmate.

* * *

The morning after, L finds himself in so much pain that he can barely walk. He allows Light—no, Kira—to help him get dressed, and then sits on the bed to wait while the other gets ready as well.

He buries his head in his knees, silent tears rolling down his face as all of the emotions of the last three days hit him at once. Emotions that he won’t let show in the moment, because he doesn’t want to give Kira that satisfaction.

He misses Light. He hates that Kira is taking advantage of him, of Light, of their connection like this. He’s mad at himself, that he _let_ Kira take advantage of him.

“Ryuzaki?”

He feels arms wrap around him and he yelps and lurches away, scowling at Light, who stands at the edge of the bed. No, it’s not Light; it’s Kira. The concern and confusion on his face are just an act. It always is.

“Keep your hands off me.”

“Ryuzaki, you’re crying,” Kira mumbles.

“No, I’m not,” L snaps. He pushes himself off the bed and stumbles out of the room, using the wall to prop himself up. Once he makes it to the elevator, he repeatedly slams the ‘close’ button, preventing Kira from going with him.

He hears the other detectives gasp as he limps his way down the stairs into the main office area.

“Ryuzaki? A- are you okay?”

Matsuda. L nods and raises a hand to wave him off.

And loses his grip on the wall.

He tumbles down the stairs, screaming both in pain and fright. The former police officers all shout his name and crowd around him, sprawled out at the bottom of the steps.

“Ryuzaki, do you want me to call an ambulance?” Soichiro asks. Light’s father kneels next to L and helps him sit up.

“No, no I’m alright,” L insists, “I’ve dealt with much worse pain than this in the past. I can handle it.”

“Babe? Dad? Is everything okay?”

A hand comes to rest on his shoulder from behind him.

Oh. Oh, he takes it back. He can’t handle it. But he’s still not going to let Soichiro call an ambulance.

He scowls and pushes himself up, ignoring the other detectives as he shuffles to his chair. He doesn’t turn and look over his shoulder. He’s not going to give Kira the satisfaction.

“How many times do I have to ask you not to call me ‘babe’?” he says, “And I already told you five minutes ago: keep. Your. Hands. Off me.”

“Come on, babe, you can’t expect me to take that seriously,” Light chuckles. L still doesn’t look over at him, but he hears him approaching him from behind.

“Light, why do you keep calling Ryuzaki that?” Soichiro asks, “Are you two... dating?”

L can perfectly picture the sly smirk that spreads across Kira’s face. “Well, of course we are! Why wouldn’t I be dating my soulmate?”

He groans inwardly at the collective gasp that ripples through the office.

“You two are soulmates?” Matsuda exclaims, “Oh my gosh, that’s awesome! And it makes so much sense too! Y-”

L slams his hands onto the desk, cutting him off and startling even himself. He huffs and stands, finally turning to face Kira.

“No. No, we are not soulmates anymore. No matter how much you want to believe it, _Kira,_ you are not my soulmate.”

He just scoffs. “What are you talking about, Ryuzaki? You told me you’ve known since my confinement. And I’m not Kira, you know that.”

“Yes, I did tell you that. Because I did know then. Because we _were_ soulmates then. But now?” L keeps direct eye contact with Kira as he picks up one of the pens on the desk, rolls up his sleeve, and writes _I’ll prove it_ on his arm. Kira doesn’t even react, just stares in confusion. The detective watches his arm, hoping beyond hope that this will turn out different than the experiments he’s been doing for the last four days. Nothing. “We have not been soulmates since you took the Death Note from me in the helicopter.”

Belatedly, Light glances at his arm and realizes there isn’t a mew mark on it. “Oh come on,” he says, trying to reason his way out of this, “How do we know the Death Note doesn’t just screw with soul connections? Higuchi didn’t have one, so we don’t have any evidence either way besides us.”

“Actually,” L remarks, “We do. Mr. Yagami?” He looks past Light to his father. “You and your wife are soulmates, correct? Has there been any change to your connection?”

“No,” Soichiro responds, startled, “Our connection is the same as it always has been.”

“I see. Matsuda? What about you? Don’t try to claim you don’t have one, I’ve seen your soulmarks.”

“O-oh! Uh, no,” Matsuda says shyly, “No, it’s the same.”

“Thank you. So, _Kira,_ that is two to one. Sixty-six percent have had no change to their soul connection.” L nods and sits in his chair again, spinning it to face the rest of the task force. “Therefore, I can only conclude that the Death Note itself did not cause our connection to vanish.”

“One, _I'm not Kira._ Two, you're forgetting something,” Light retorts. He steps closer to L, causing him to scooch the chair backwards, away from Kira.

“Oh? And what's that?”

“We're the only example where _both_ ends of the connection have touched the Death Note. Dad won't tell Mom anything about the investigation, and Matsuda hasn't even met his soulmate yet. We're an outlier.”

L glares at Kira for a second before turning to the giant skeletal creature that's been standing in the corner this whole time. “Shinigami? What do you have to say about this? Does the Death Note affect soul connections in this way?”

“I do not know much about human soulmates,” Rem says, “So I cannot say. However, I do believe it is plausible. The Death Note does have quite detrimental effects on the owner's mental state, so I do not see why it wouldn't affect soul connections.”

“Let's just get to work,” Soichiro insists.

“Yes, let's.” L spins his chair to face his desk and starts going over everyone's work from the day before.

The rest of the task force takes this as a hint to start working as well, and they all sit down at their own desks. All they really have left to do is to write up their reports for the NPA and INTERPOL, but L still wants them to do this in Task Force Headquarters, so he can check over them before they send them in. They work in silence for most of the day, the only sound in the office the scratching of pencils and the clicking of keys. The rest of the Task Force is, unsurprisingly, relieved to escape the mounting tension in the room when L sends them home for the night.

Light stands up to see them out, giving his father a quick hug around the shoulders. “See you tomorrow, Dad.”

“No,” L says, not looking up from his work.

“No?” Light asks, peering at him curiously.

“No, Light, you will not be spending the night here again. I do _not_ want another repeat of the last three nights. Besides, it would do you some good to see the rest of your family.”

“Come on, Ryuzaki,” Light complains. He puts his hands on L’s shoulders, turning him and his chair to face him.

“Get your _fucking_ hands off me,” L snarls, glaring at Kira.

The rest of the Task Force gasp. They’ve never heard Ryuzaki swear before, and after the revelation this morning they’re shocked that L would be so mean to his soulmate. Kira lets go of him, stepping backwards in shock.

“Mr. Yagami?” L pointedly looks past Light to his father. “Take Light home and make sure he doesn't come back to headquarters until tomorrow morning.“

“Yes, Ryuzaki,” Soichiro says, guiding Light out of the office. “Come on, Light, Sayu and your mother have been asking about you for a while.”

As soon as L is the only one left in the office, Watari's giant calligraphic _W_ fills L's monitors.

“I assume that your 'one-hour nap' was actually you conversing with Light?” his handler says.

“Yes, it has been for the last four years,” L responds, “You know as well as I do that I have insomnia.”

The two are silent for a moment before Watari says, “Ryuzaki, why didn’t you tell me you had a soulmate?”

“I didn’t want you to think I could be distracted that easily,” he mumbles, “but, obviously, I can.”

“L, why don’t you take a break? Try to sleep. You need it.”

L sighs and stands, picking up the piece of cake that Watari had placed in front of him a few hours ago. He’s barely touched it. “Yes, I suppose I do. I’ll see you in the morning, Watari.”

“Goodnight, Ryuzaki.”

He trudges up to his bedroom, nibbling on the cake in his hands as he goes. As soon as his door is closed behind him, he pulls out his phone and dials one of the five numbers that he has memorized. Watari doesn’t have a soulmate, he won’t understand what he’s going through. He needs to talk to someone who would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my American readers, happy Thanksgiving and Black Friday! To my non-American readers, happy random Thursday/Friday in the middle of November, LOL. It’s too late to ask y’all to acknowledge Native Americans in your celebrations, but I hope some of you did. I’m part Native, so that’s why this is important to me.
> 
> Next chap L talks to someone who might understand and we get to see more of Light’s internal struggle.


	9. Dragons Yet to Slay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L decides to get an outside perspective on his soulmate situation and Light struggles with the return of Kira.
> 
> Title from “We All Need a Hero” from the musical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda a filler chapter and it's a little shorter than the last few chaps, but I like it. It sets things up for next chap. XD
> 
> Also, I have almost the entire rest of this fic written... I’ve never done this before. I’ve only finished one multi-chap fic and that was mainly because I was writing it with the help of a friend. It feels weird, knowing that I’m actually going to finish this one.

“I’m just saying Mello, I think this seems like a bit much just to get chocolate.”

“Who are you kidding? This is Mello we’re talking about. He’s addicted to the stuff.”

“I am not addicted to chocolate!” Mello snaps at his boyfriend.

Matt shrugs and presses a few keys on his laptop. “If you say so, Mells.”

“The fact that you’re making us help you in your ten-step plan to steal the chocolate cake from the kitchen isn’t helping your case,” Near says, adding a few dice to the tower in front of him.

“Shut up,” Mello growls at the white-haired boy.

Near just rolls his eyes in response.

The three are in Mello’s room, going over the ginger’s plan to steal the chocolate birthday cake the cooks made earlier in the week. Matt sits on Mello’s bed, hacking into the security cameras, partially for fun and partially because it’s part of the plan. Mello is sitting on the floor leaning against his bed, reading over Near’s notes on the plan, and Near is crouched in the corner, stacking dice.

“Are you at least going to share with us? You can’t eat a whole cake by yourself,” Matt laughs.

Mello scoffs and opens his mouth to make one of his sarcastic remarks. But is cut off when his phone starts ringing.

“It’s L!” he cries, fumbling to pull it out of his pocket.

“L?” Matt asks, putting his laptop aside, “How do you know?”

“Well, for one, it’s a number from Japan, and for two, the only ones who know our numbers are L, Roger, and Watari. Roger would just come to my room, and Watari would just call Roger and have him come to my room.”

“Why would L be calling you?” Near asks. He moves to sit next to Mello, and Matt scooches towards the edge of the bed, peering over Mello’s shoulder as he answers.

“Hey.”

“Mello.”

He was right. It _is_ L.

“Ha!” Mello shouts, “I told you guys!” He reaches up and jokingly smacks Matt’s legs.

L hums on the other end of the line. “Matt and Near are in the room with you? Good. I need to talk to you and Matt. Put me on speaker.”

“You already are,” Matt says, leaning closer to the phone, “What’s up?”

“You two are soulmates, correct?”

The two glance at each other, confused. Matt and Mello have had a soul connection for the last two years, it’s common knowledge at Wammy’s. And the three of them were the first and only people L told when his connection appeared. But other than that, it’s never been something that L has spoken to them about.

“Uh, yeah. Why?” Mello says.

L is silent for a moment before he says, “Has your connection ever, just, vanished? Like, one minute you can write to each other just fine and everything’s normal, but then the next all of your soulmarks disappear and anything you write doesn’t show up on each other anymore.”

“L... did something happen to your soulmate? Is he okay?” Matt asks, concerned.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” L murmurs, and it sounds like he’s on the verge of tears.

The three boys stare at the phone in shock. They've never heard L get remotely emotional, and they've known him for most of their lives.

“L, what happened?” Near says, speaking up for the first time.

Their mentor sighs. “I can’t give you all of the details; the case is still ongoing, but... I met my soulmate. We- we were actually working together on this case. But then... something happened. It’s like he’s a completely different person.”

“Did he hurt you?” Mello snarls, “If he hurt you I swear to God-”

“Calm down, Mello. I can handle myself. You know that.”

“So he did hurt you! Fuck it, I'm on my way to Japan.” He jumps up and tosses his phone to Matt.

“Matt, get your boyfriend to calm down,” L says.

“Sorry L, but I'm with him on this one.” Matt picks his laptop back up and starts tapping around on it. “Already got our plane tickets set up. Near, you coming too?”

“Is that even a question?” Near stands and starts to pick up his dice. “Of course I am.”

“Both of you sit back down, or I’m calling Roger.”

Mello and Near freeze and both sink to the ground where they are.

“Are you... hacked into the security cameras?” Mello asks carefully.

“Yes,” L says bluntly, “By the way, Matt, you’d think after all these years you’d be better at hiding your tracks. There will be a quiz in hacking when I return to the House, and it will be mandatory. _For all three of you.”_

Matt and Mello both groan, knowing that L is going to keep good on that threat. He always does.

“L, you said your soulmate was like a completely different person,” Near pipes up suddenly, “Have you ever heard of Dissociative Identity Disorder?”

“Thank you, Near, for getting us back on topic,” L acknowledges, “Yes, I have. What about it?”

“I just wrote a research paper about it for one of the online classes I'm taking. A lot of the resources I looked at mentioned that, if one of the alters in a system has a soulmate, the connection will only work when they're fronting. Otherwise, the other alters won't be able to use it. Could it be something like that?”

“Yeah... yeah, that's gotta be it. Thank you, Near.” L pauses. “I expect you three to find the address of our headquarters on your own, no asking Roger or Watari for help.” With that, he hangs up and leaves the three in silence.

“So... how how many days do we have until the plane leaves?” Mello asks, taking his phone back from Matt.

* * *

“So, now you know how I've felt for the last five months. Don't like it, do you?”

Light looks up to find Kira standing over him. It's still weird to Light to think of him as Kira because that's _him_. They look exactly the same, save for the fact that in the headspace Kira is always wearing all black and has red eyes. But it's not Light, because Light can still see and feel himself and their body's surroundings, and he would _never_ go to the lengths that Kira has.

Their body is alone in their room, sitting on their bed in silence. Light is curled up in the corner of their mind, crying and silently rejoicing that he won't have to watch L go through _that_ again. He's given up fighting him. Nothing he does makes any difference. It's been four days, and he's still stuck here. As far as he's concerned, Kira's won.

“I'm just glad they finally got you away from him,” he mumbles, curling tighter in on himself.

Kira smirks and squats next to him. “Don't be sad. You won't have to worry about L for much longer. I'm going to tell Misa where to find the other Death Note soon, and after that, it's only a matter of time before your little boyfriend is out of the way. You won't have any reason to resist me anymore, and at the same time, what you've already accepted will be true for the whole world. I'm going to win.”

 _“NO!”_ Light shrieks. He launches himself forward in an attempt to tackle Kira.

He doesn't make contact. Kira just dodges him and cackles.

“Come on, how stupid are you? You can't do anything to me. Not while you're just stuck in my head.”

But Light is ignoring the other person in his mind. Because their body just moaned “ _No”_ and lurched forwards, their head falling into their hands. And Kira doesn't even seem to notice.

Maybe Kira hasn't won after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly had SO MUCH FUN writing the scene with the Wammy’s Bois? IDK, I just love the idea of them and L being brothers, even if they actually only ever met once in canon. Also, Near knowing about DID is partially a reference to the J-Drama where Near and Mello are two alters in a system.
> 
> There was supposed to be a LOT MORE of the internal Light v Kira, but I got really bad writer's block when it came to that section? IDK. And anyway, I do like where I left it.
> 
> Next chap, Kira starts killing again and the task force gets three new members.  
> (Can y'all guess who they are?)


	10. The Hardest Rains, The Coldest Winds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira starts killing again, and the task force has three new members.
> 
> Title from 'Hurricane' from the musical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was looking up the characters' birthdays for this (I already knew L's, I just wanted to see everyone else's) and I found out I have the same birthday as Aizawa? And I'm... not quite sure how I feel about this?
> 
> Also, there may or may not have been tears as I wrote the second half of this. You'll see why.

Children shouting.

In cheer, and in pain.

Screaming, crying.

Bells.

Loud bells tolling.

They sound like church bells, but they're not.

They're the bells on top of the orphanage.

Beside him, the old man that found him on the streets stands, holding his hand.

\---

Watari turns over his shoulder as he hears the door open. There's only one person in the tower with access to his office, so he knows who it is without having to ask.

“Ryuzaki, is something the matter? What is it?”

When L doesn't respond, Watari hums and turns his chair around to face his ward.

“What's wrong?”

* * *

Three days pass. The task force is still filling out their reports, seeing as this case has taken a little under a year, and a lot has happened in that year. The former NPA officers are very cautious about leaving Light alone with L. Aizawa and Light have switched desks, and Soichiro makes Light come to lunch with them every day. Watari has added security cameras to their apartment, where there were none before. Kira is sleeping at the tower once again, although he thankfully hasn't done _that_ again. He hasn't even slept in the same bed as L, instead using the extra bed that they'd attempted to use for the first week of being handcuffed together, but had found useless.

On the fourth day, Soichiro comes barging into the office. He's the last member of the task force to show up.

“What's going on?” he demands, “I heard criminals are being killed again!”

“There were sixteen deaths just yesterday,” Aizawa explains, “All of them were broadcast _after_ Higuchi's death.”

“Immediately after, huh?” Matsuda mutters.

“Do you think this could mean that Higuchi wasn't necessarily Kira after all?” Soichiro asks.

“No,” Light insists, “It's safe to say that Higuchi was the one killing criminals until we apprehended him.”

“Then this means we're dealing with yet another Kira,” Aizawa says.

Matsuda groans. “Aw, man! Not again!”

Light curses under his breath, but L knows it's all for show. He _knows_ he's Kira again, and that likely means that Misa is as well, since she was released from headquarters about a week ago. Then Misa is the one doing all of these killings. Kira's insisting on staying with L is just an excuse. He's just trying to prove his innocence, by staying where L and Watari can watch him at all hours of the day.

“These killings began as soon as Misa was freed, didn't they?” L says, voicing his thoughts.

“Ryuzaki, are you still going on about that?” Light scoffs, “She has nothing to do with this! Think about it. This started as soon as Higuchi died.”

L hums and tips his box of cookies upside down. “I suppose you're right.” A few of the little bear-shaped treats fall onto his desk. “Oh, well... if there is another notebook floating around out there and someone is now using it to kill criminals-” He picks up one of the cookies and crushes it between his thumb and forefinger. “-I'll just have to bring that person to justice.”

The office is silent for a few minutes.

“Ryuzaki, I've been thinking,” Light says, breaking the silence. “Even if we do manage to catch the person who's been writing names in the notebook, will we really be able to legally convict and punish them for mass homicide?”

“What?” Matsuda cries, “Of course we can convict them! This guy is intentionally writing names in the notebook, knowing that these people are going to die. Even if we don't plan on publicly acknowledging the notebook, the least we can do is execute the killer!”

“It's not a very humane way to do things, but the higher-ups would probably wanna take measures like that,” Aizawa adds.

“If they admit to killing with the notebook, they'd receive the death penalty,” L explains, “Or a life in prison at least.” He puts one of the cookies in his mouth, muffling his next sentence. “That's the best that they could hope for.”

Several feet behind the task force, near the back wall, Rem gasps. What was Kira thinking, making Misa kill again? She'll be caught and once that happens, he'll also be-

She gasps again, this time in surprise as she realizes what Kira is planning, not fear for Misa's life. So _that's_ what his plan is. He is truly disgusting, as far as Rem is concerned. Kira is certain that she will do anything to help Misa and save her life. And at this point, the only way for her to save Misa is to write L's real name in her notebook! And if she were to kill L...

It would mean that she deliberately lengthened Misa's life. And she would die as well. Kira has planned everything so that it will work out in his favor.

Kira smirks over his shoulder, silently daring Rem to go against him. There's nothing else she can do. She may be a Shinigami, but she can't hide the fact that she cares for Misa. There's no way she would turn her back on her now, after she's already halved her lifespan twice for the Shinigami eyes.

* * *

Kira finds L on the rooftop of task force headquarters. L is huddled with three boys that Kira's never seen before. They all sit in a circle near the edge of the roof, heads bent close, either ignoring the rain pounding their backs or not noticing it.

Suddenly, all four lift their heads and turn to look at Kira.

“What are you doing sitting out there by yourselves?” Kira says.

L frowns and holds a hand to his ear, the universal 'I can't hear you' gesture.

“What are you doing sitting out there by yourselves?” Kira repeats, louder this time.

L just smirks and repeats the gesture.

Sighing, Kira blocks his face from the rain with his arm and slowly walks out to where the four are.

“What are you doing, Ryuzaki? And... who are they?” He kneels next to L and gently places a hand on his shoulder.

“Hands. Off,” L growls, wrenching his shoulder out of Kira's grasp.

“Jeez, sorry. I forgot,” Kira says defensively, raising his hands away from L.

“Is this him?” one of the boys asks. He appears to be the youngest and is crouched similarly to the way L usually does. He has white hair and wears a white button up, both drenched from the rain.

L turns to the boy and deflates. He nods sadly, hanging his head. “Yes, Near. This is... or _was_ my soulmate.”

“You bastard!” another of the boys shouts. This one looks like the oldest, besides L. He has long ginger hair and wears all black.

He jumps up and steps towards Kira threateningly. “What the hell did you do to our brother?!”

“Your... brother?” Kira stands, looking down at the boys and L. “Wait, you three are L's brothers?”

“Light,” L says, standing as well, “This is Mello, Matt, and Near. They're my successors, or they will be when I die. They're not actually my brothers, but they're the closest thing I have to family, besides Watari. Their flight from England just got in and I brought them up here while the rest of you were on your lunch break.”

“Mello? Near?” Kira chuckles, “Those are some unusual names. Nice to meet you guys.” He smiles and holds a hand out for the ginger, Mello, to shake.

He just scowls at his hand and steps backward. The brunet boy, Matt, stands up and places a hand on his arm comfortingly. Mello glances at him fondly and puts his own hand over the other boy's. So they're... together? Are they soulmates? Kira blinks in surprise and pulls his hand back, letting it fall back to his side.

“Anyway...” He turns to L. “Seriously, what are you four doing up here? It's pouring!”

“We missed his birthday,” Near says for L, “We never miss his birthday. He usually takes a day off of whatever case he's working on and comes back to the orphanage to spend the day with us. It was only a few days ago, so we decided to make up for it by spending some time alone with him, just the four of us. The roof just happened to be the best place for it.”

“Your birthday was a few days ago?” Kira asks, “Why didn't you tell me? We could've done something!”

“My birthday isn't a big deal to me,” L insists, “It's more important to them. I'm fine not having done anything special. Besides, we were in the middle of wrapping up the case.”

“If you say so,” Kira sighs. He goes to wrap an arm around L's shoulders, but stops himself when all four of the other people on the roof glare at him.

Suddenly, L looks off into the skyline and steps closer to the edge of the roof.

“Ryuzaki?” Kira says at the same time Mello asks, “Is everything okay?”

“I hear the bell,” the detective murmurs, still gazing into the distance.

“The bell?” Kira asks. He glances at L's brothers in confusion, wondering if they know anything about this. They're staring at L, expressions of terror and shock painted across each of their faces. So they do know, but they won't tell him.

“Yes. The sound of the bell's been unusually loud today.”

Kira listens, straining to see if he can hear any sort of bell. Nothing. He hums. “I don't hear anything.”

“Really?” L turns back, looking at Kira over his shoulder. “You can't hear it? It's been ringing non-stop all day. I find it... very distracting. I wonder if it's a church... maybe a wedding, or perhaps a...”

“L,” Near whispers.

“Why didn't you tell us sooner?” Matt asks, stepping towards L.

“What are you getting at, Ryuzaki?” Kira demands, ignoring the boys, “Come on, cut it out. Let's get back inside.”

“I'm sorry,” L says, and it's unclear if he's talking to Kira or his brothers. “Nothing I say makes any sense anyway. If I were you, Light, I wouldn't believe any of it.”

Everyone is completely silent for a few seconds.

And then Kira starts chuckling.

“You know, you're totally right,” he says, “Honestly, most of the things you say sound like complete nonsense. There'd be no end to my troubles if I actually took you seriously all the time. I probably know that better than anyone.” He not-so-subtly gestures to his arm, obviously referencing their (broken) soul connection.

“Yes,” L muses, turning to face the horizon again, “I would say that's a fair assessment. But... I could say the same about you.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Kira scoffs, offended.

“Tell me, Light, from the moment you were born, has there ever been a point when you've actually told the truth?” L is once again looking at him instead of the skyline.

Kira's face falls, going deadpan in response to L's question. In the back of his mind, he can hear Light screaming about _that_ _night,_ the night they found out. And the day at the tennis court. And every time they've spoken through their soulmarks. And, sure, Kira wants to bring those up too. But he doesn't want to give that little nuisance the satisfaction.

So instead, he says, “Where is this coming from, Ryuzaki? I do admit, I stretch the truth here and there. However, find me one person in the world who's never had to tell a lie. It wouldn't be easy. Human beings just aren't made to be perfect like that. Everybody lies from time to time. Even so, I've always made a conscious effort to be careful not to tell a lie that could hurt others. That's my answer.”

L's mouth ticks up into a small smile and he looks away, down at the floor in front of him. “I had a feeling you'd say something like that.”

They stand in silence for a few minutes. They both know it isn't true, that the lie that Kira has been telling for the past week has hurt the person who should be the most important to him, and quite badly at that.

Finally, Mello speaks up. He steps towards L and places a hand on his arm. “Let's go inside. We're all drenched.”

Kira and L both jump, having forgotten that the boys were there with them. But they allow them to guide them inside. They all grab towels from the roof-access bathroom, drying themselves off as they walk back down to the meeting room.

And somewhere, curled in the corner of his own mind, Light knows. He knows what's about to happen. He knows what he has to do, but he's afraid that it won't work. That he'll be powerless to stop it. But he still has to try. For his soulmate's sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chap... well, we all know what happens next chap. I shouldn't have to say it. Keep in mind, I _have_ promised a happy ending in the tags!!
> 
> I totally forgot that Dissociative Identity Disorder isn’t a well-known thing and just mentioned it casually last chap as if it was. I can’t give a good explanation of what it is since I don’t have it, and this fic isn’t a very good example of it because I’m taking some minor liberties. (It _is_ supposed to be magically-induced DID, so...) But if anyone’s curious about it and wants to learn more, I recommend DissociaDID on YouTube. Their videos are always super interesting and offer really good info on not just DID, but other mental disorders as well.


	11. The Way it Ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know what's going down in this chap. I don't need to put a summary.
> 
> Also, apparently I really like writing about people falling down stairs... huh. I did it a few chaps ago when L fell down the stars into the office and then again _twice_ in this chap. Well, this chap it's the same thing, just from different POVs.

“You little shit! _Get off me!”  
_

Mello, Matt, Near, and L all stare at Light, confused by his outburst. They’re sitting on one of the hundreds of flights of stairs in headquarters, drying themselves off from the rainstorm outside.

They had been silent, simply focused on not being sopping wet when they go back to the rest of the task force.

And then Light had screamed and threw his head back, grasping at his temples, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Light?” L asks, crouching on the stairs in front of him, “Are you okay?”

Light lurches forward, accidentally throwing both himself and L down the stairs. They groan as they hit the landing, L on his back and Light on his side a few feet away.

“Hey!” Mello shouts, sprinting down the stairs to them. Matt and Near follow him.

As soon as the ginger’s feet hit the landing, Light reaches up and grabs his wrist, pulling him down next to him.

“The hell are you doing?” he snarls, trying to pull his hand out of Light’s grasps.

“No time,” Light pants, “Go to the meeting room. Find Rem, find the Shinigami. Don’t let her see your face. Get her notebook away from her and don’t let her out of your sight. She’s- _SHUT THE FUCK UP!”_ He lets go of Mello and rolls onto his other side, facing away from him and the others. “What do you think you’re doing?! You can’t stop me!” After that, he falls silent, writhing on the floor and clutching his head.

“L?” Mello asks, turning to glance at his mentor over his shoulder, unsure if he should actually listen to him.

“Go,” L insists, sitting up with the help of Matt and Near. “Stop whatever they're planning. I believe that that was actually Light, and not Kira.” He's suddenly thankful that he'd showed them the Death Note almost immediately.

Mello nods and the three sprint down the stairs, heading towards the main office.

As soon as his brothers are out of the way, L crawls over to Light and puts his hand on his arm. He has no clue what is going on inside Light's mind, but he can still be here to help him.

“Light. I hope you're okay in there. You'll get through this. I'm here for you.”

\---

Inside of Light's mind, the two sides of him are wrestling.

From the minute they walked off the roof, Light knew what was about to happen and was planning both how to stop it and how to get control over his body again. The first second he could, he launched himself forward, trying to force Kira back again.

He'd taken Kira by surprise this time around, so he was actually able to make contact. Kira had appeared in the headspace as soon as Light's feet left the ground, just in time for Light to knock him sprawling to the ground.

“You little shit!” Kira screamed, and the words came out of their body as well. “ _Get off me!”_

Light saw L kneeling in front of them, even as he continued to fight with Kira. Their shoving at each other accidentally sent their body forward, falling to the bottom of the stairs and taking L with him. Kira, being the one still connected to their body, groaned in pain and collapsed to the ground.

With Kira distracted, Light surged forward and regained control for a few seconds. He reached up and grabbed Mello's wrist, pulling him down next to him. It was an off chance, but he really hoped L had filled them in on the details of the case by now. And that they've touched the Death Note.

“The hell are you doing?” the ginger snarled, attempting to get away from him.

Light just shook his head and tightened his grip. “No time. Go to the meeting room. Find Rem, find the Shinigami. Don’t let her see your face. Get her notebook away from her and don’t let her out of your sight. She’s-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Kira screeched, pulling Light back into the headspace and rolling their body onto its other side. “What do you think you're doing?! You can't stop me!”

But Light didn't care. He got his message across; he can hear L sending Mello, Matt, and Near to go carry out his orders. He can feel L's hand on his arm, grounding and comforting him.

All of that was just step one of his plan. Now for step two.

He needs to regain control in front of Rem for long enough to relinquish the Death Note.

* * *

The Task Force all glance up, startled, as three teenage boys sprint into their office.

“How the hell did you three get in here?” Aizawa asks, standing up at his desk.

But they don't pay any attention to him, running straight up to L's console. The one in the lead, a scrawny ginger in all black, immediately slams his hand onto the button that calls L's handler. “Watari!” he shouts as the giant _W_ fills the screen.

“Mello? Matt, Near? What are you boys doing here?” the old man demands.

“No time!” the brunet says in English, “We need to find Rem! You're watching the security cameras, right? Where is she?!”

“What's happening?” Soichiro asks, coming up behind the three boys. “Is something wrong?”

After a second, an image of Rem replaces Watari's _W._ The skeletal Shinigami is in a dark room, crouched over a notebook.

“She's writing Watari and L's names!” the boy in white cries, also in English. He turns to Soichiro and, in Japanese, demands, “Where is that room?”

“Down the hall, not too far from here,” he stammers.

The three boys run to the room. Mello and Near pull masks out of their pockets, and Matt puts his goggles on. As soon as they wrench the door open, Mello lunges forward, tackling the Death Note out of the Shinigami's hands.

“What are you doing?” Rem bellows, standing up to her full height.

“Saving our brother!” Matt exclaims.

“You are going to regret this,” the Shinigami threatens.

The boys just glare at her. Light had told them not to let her out of their sight, and they can already tell that they're not going to get her to come with them, so they have to stay here.

“Can someone come get this?” Mello asks, gesturing to the Death Note. He's counting on the fact that Watari is still displaying the security camera footage to the task force.

Thankfully, he is. Back in the main office, all eyes turn to Matsuda.

"Why me?" Matsuda whines, "It's always me!"

"Exactly," Aizawa scoffs, crossing his arms.

Matsuda sighs and picks up a small bag and trudges to the room. He keeps his eyes on the floor as he enters, pointedly not looking at Rem. It's been a week, and he still can't stand the sight of her. He holds out the bag for Mello to put the notebook in. As soon as the Death Note is in the bag, he rushes out.

Just as Matsuda returns to the office, L walks down the stairs, carrying a shivering Light in his arms.

“Light!” Soichiro shouts, concerned. He approaches the two and helps L lay his son on one of the couches.

“Be careful, I think he's having a panic attack. Or, at least, something like a panic attack,” L murmurs.

“Here's the notebook,” Matsuda says, holding up the bag in his hands.

L nods and leaves Soichiro to watch over Light, walking over to Matsuda and taking the Death Note from him. He pulls the notebook out of the bag and flips it open to the last page that Rem has written on.

_Quillsh Wam_

“It seems Light got through to us just in time. Any longer, and Watari would be dead. Myself as well, most likely.” He flips the book around, so the others can see it.

“What are we going to do about him?” Soichiro asks, looking up at L.

L hums. “I know you're not going to like this, but we need to put Light back in confinement. Hopefully before he becomes fully conscious again. You and Aizawa take care of that, you know where the holding cells are. I must speak to the Shinigami.” He ignores the others' protests, placing the Death Note on his desk and heading towards the room where his brothers and Rem are.

“Wait!”

L gasps and freezes.

Light.

Or is it Kira?

“It- it's me. I don't know how long I can stay in control.” He sounds like he's in pain.

L turns on his heel and rushes to his side. “Are you okay?” he asks gently.

Light nods and reaches up to take his hand. “Take me to Rem.”

The detective nods and helps Light to his feet. Slowly, the two of them make their way to where Rem and the boys are. Rem and Mello are exactly where they where when Matsuda left them and Near and Matt have moved farther into the room. Near sits beside the doorway and Matt leans against the wall.

Just as they enter the room, Light groans and clutches at his head.

“Light, what is it?” L asks, concerned.

“He’s... he’s screaming,” Light whispers, “He’s trying to stop me, to take back control. God, he won’t shut up.”

“Then _make him_ shut up. You can do this, Light. You’re the strongest person I know.”

Light lowers his hands and smiles up at him. He takes a deep breath and stands up, holding onto L's arm for support. “Rem,” he says, gaining the attention of the Shinigami and the boys.

“What is it, human?” she asks, looking at him disdainfully.

“I-” His grip on L tightens.

“Come on, Light,” L assures him.

“Is he okay?” Matt asks.

L nods and gestures for him and the others to be quiet.

“I rel- _NO!”_ Light shrieks and falls to his knees, repeating “No” over and over again. 

L squats next to him, gripping his shoulder in hoped that it’ll help ground him.

Finally, between his screaming, Light pants, “Make it stop. Please. Rem...” His face contorts in pain, but he forces through it. “Get rid of it.”

“So be it.” Rem waves a hand and Light goes completely limp, falling onto the floor.

“What did you do to him?” L cries.

“Is he dead?” Mello gasps.

“Calm down,” the Shinigami says, “He is not dead, just unconscious. The last time he relinquished the Death Note, he did so with the intention of regaining it. So, his Kira personality stayed hidden in the back of his mind. When he got it back, his personalities did not mesh, and they fought for control. Now, he has no intention of taking the notebook back, so I erased Kira from his mind for good. It is going to take some time for his mind to get used to having only one consciousness in it.”

L sighs in relief and nods. When he wakes up, he should have _his_ Light back. His soulmate. Not the psychopath who pretended to be his soulmate for a week.

This time, it really is over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chaps left! Thank you all for sticking around to read my bullshit! I'm glad you guys enjoyed! XD
> 
> Honestly, I feel like might be wrapping things up almost a little _too_ nicely, and this chap is a bit short compared to the last few. IDK, I kinda like it, but I almost wish I hadn’t had Light come to right before L left. I might come back to this a little while after it’s finished and change some things around, but at the moment I don’t have time to re-write this whole chapter. What do you guys think?


	12. Requiem, pt. 1: Shades of Gray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentioned rape. Light and L discuss what Kira did to L. Skip from "The detective smiles gratefully, but Light can still see the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes" to "They're silent for a moment, both deep in their thoughts." I'll put astrics (***) to show it.
> 
> Other than that, the first half of this is very, _very_ fluffy.  
> *whispers* _So much blushing..._

When Light wakes up, the first thing he registers is warmth. Comfortable, snug warmth. Something he hasn't felt in over a week since he was trapped in his own mind.

The next thing he registers is the feeling of a soft mattress beneath him and a plush comforter over him.

And the next is the arms wrapped around his torso, pressing him close to someone's chest.

The last thing he registers is the pounding in his head. Or rather, the lack thereof.

He grimaces. Sure, his head might not be in constant pain anymore, but he still remembers everything. It’s distant and foggy, but the memories are there. They shouldn’t be. Hadn’t Ryuk told him all memories of the Death Note would be removed?

He groans and slowly pries his eyes open, reaching up to rub his forehead. He's in his and L's apartment in the Task Force headquarters, tucked into their bed. Someone had changed his clothes while he was asleep. At least he assumes so, since he's wearing pajamas instead of the button-up and slacks he'd passed out in.  He's still wearing his watch, though. Both L and his father know how much it means to him, they probably insisted on leaving it on.

“Light?” he hears from behind him.

He recognizes the voice. How can he not? That's his soulmate. That's the man he loves.

“Ryuzaki?” he says, twisting to look over his shoulder.

Sure enough, the arms, chest, and voice belong to his soulmate. L smiles down at him and removes one of his arms from Light's torso, gently running his hand through his hair instead.

Without thinking, Light leans upwards and presses their lips together in a soft kiss. L tenses and pushes him away, scrambling as far as he can from Light without falling off the bed.

Light blinks in surprise and frowns. “What... what's wrong?” he asks.

L shakes his head, trying to calm himself down. “Nothing, it's nothing. It's just...I know you don't remember, it isn't important.”

“I remember. I remember everything. Or, at least, I remember remembering.” Light pauses, and realization dawns on him. “Oh. _Oh._ Shit, Ryuzaki, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.”

***The detective smiles gratefully, but Light can still see the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “It's okay. You weren’t thinking. It's stupid, I know. But it'll probably be a while before I'm comfortable with anything like that again.”

“It's not stupid,” Light insists, “Kira _raped_ you.” He pauses. “In a way, I raped you. It's completely understandable you're not okay with me kissing you.”

“No!” L cries, “You didn't do anything. I know that was all Kira. It shouldn't affect me the way it has. I-”

 _“Ryuzaki,”_ Light interrupts, “It might not have been me mentally, but it was still my body. You shouldn’t be ashamed that it’s affecting you like this. Like I said, it’s completely understandable. We can work our way up to that point again. It's alright, I get it and I’m not upset because of it.”

L bites his lip and nods. “Thank you,” he murmurs.

They're silent for a moment, both deep in their thoughts.***

Light opens his arms. “Can we at least hug and cuddle?” he asks shyly, looking away in an unsuccessful attempt to hide the blush dusting his cheeks.

L nods and crawls closer to Light, also blushing. They wrap their arms around each other and devolve into silence again, simply enjoying each other’s presence. Once again, Light is the one to break the silence after a few minutes.

"Did you check our soul connection?"

L nods against Light's chest. "Yes. Several times, in fact." He pauses, and Light can hear the pure joy in his voice when he speaks again, a far departure from his normal monotone. "You're still my soulmate."

Light grins and buries his face in L's hair. “How long was I out?”

L sits up, pulling away from Light again. He takes Light’s wrist and twists it so he can see his watch. “Three days, nineteen hours, and thirty-seven minutes,” he rattles off.

Light chuckles and gently pulls his arm out of L’s grasp, intertwining their fingers instead. “Wow, that is... very specific. Have I missed anything important?”

“Well, we have Misa in confinement again. We also have custody of her Death Note and have convinced her you wanted her to give it up. Once the boys and I were able to prove that you were, in fact, Kira, the task force agreed that she had to be the second Kira. Rem has made me promise not to execute her. And I don’t want you to be executed either, so we’re working on a plan for what we’re going to tell INTERPOL. We have it mostly figured out, but I want to get your opinion on it before we go through with it.” L pauses, trying to remember if he missed anything. He smirks. “Oh, and I met a friend of yours. Ryuk, I believe his name is?”

“Ha, ha,” Light scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I wouldn’t really call Ryuk a friend. More like, a pest that I had to entertain or risk him killing me.”

“Yes, I know what you mean. He's...very annoying.”

The two laugh before once again falling into a silence that's somehow both comfortable and awkward at the same time. They're both staring at their hands, L tracing Light's knuckles with his thumb. He slowly raises their linked hands and presses a soft kiss to the back of Light's hand. They make eye contact over their hands, both blushing. L drops their hands back onto the mattress and they look away, avoiding making eye contact again until their cheeks are less pink.

After a few minutes, L clears his throat and checks the time on Light's watch again. “The task force should be here any minute to finish wrapping up. Again. Why don't you lay down and get some more sleep? If you're feeling up to it, you can come down to the office later and look over our plan. If not, you and I can go over it together tonight. We have two days to finalize it before my conference with INTERPOL.”

Light nods and pulls L into a quick hug before flopping back down on the mattress to get some more sleep. L smiles at him, squeezes his arm, and quietly slips out of their room and down to the office.

As soon as his feet touch the cool metal floor of the main office, Light's father is standing in front of him, blocking him from walking any further.

“How is Light? Is he awake yet?” Soichiro asks, just like he has each of the past three days. And just like the past three days, his attempts to appear stern and professional are undermined by the glimmer of hope in his eyes.

Thankfully, L finally has something to tell him. He hums and shrugs. “He was a few minutes ago when I left our room. Hopefully by now he should be asleep again, since I told him to get some more sleep. But yes, he is conscious. And as far as I can tell, he is _Light,_ not Kira.”

“Let me see him!” Soichiro demands, stepping towards the younger detective.

L shakes his head. “I'm sorry, but I can't do that. We must let him recover at his own pace. I asked him to come down later, if he's feeling up to it. But other than that, he is to be left alone.”

Soichiro sighs and nods in understanding. He mopes over to his desk and sits down, cradling his head in his hands. Matsuda, at the desk next to him, smiles kindly and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Let's finish this,” L announces, walking over to his own desk and climbing into his chair. “We have two days left, and if we're lucky Light should be down at some point this afternoon.”

The tack force all nod and get to work. The former NPA officers need to finish filling out their revised reports, and L wants to go over the plan for the INTERPOL meeting with Watari, Mello, Matt, and Near one more time before showing it to Light.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, as soon as Watari opens L's laptop at the INTERPOL conference two days later, someone demands to know if he's found out who Kira is.

L chuckles behind his voice filter. "Well," he says, "I _was_ going to wait a bit for this, but I suppose I don't have to. Officers of INTERPOL, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Watari?"

His handler nods and presses a few buttons on the laptop and opens another call. This one has a video feed, which shows two people sitting in a large office of some sort. One of the people is a teenage brunet boy, and the other is a blonde girl.

The boy smiles shyly and waves. "Hello. My name is Light Yagami."

"And I'm Misa Amane!" the blonde girl exclaims enthusiastically, grinning and throwing up a peace sign.

"What the hell is this, L?" one of the officers shouts, "Why should we care about some kid and a Japanese model?"

"Aw, you know who I am? That's so cool!" Misa squeals.

"Misa!" L and Light snap in unison.

Misa whimpers and clings to Light's arm. "Sorry, Light."

Light sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "It's alright, Misa. Anyway, the reason Ryu-er, _L_ -wanted to introduce us to you is because, well... we were Kira."

Several officers immediately start shouting demands and questions.

"Hear them out. Let them explain themselves," L insists, speaking over the shouting.

Begrudgingly, the officers quiet to listen to them.

Light and Misa glance at each other nervously. Eventually, Light says, "We didn't do it willingly. We were being controlled. Now that we've stopped, we don't remember anything about it. I mean, we know we did it, but we don't remember actually _doing_ it. It's like our memories were altered, so everything we did makes sense without that context."

"How can you just not remember killing _thousands of people?"_ one of the officers shouts.

"Have you ever heard of the word _Shinigami?_ " L asks. The officers glance at each other in confusion, but most shake their heads. "Well, Shinigamis are Japanese gods of death. Say, Thanatos from Greek mythology or the Valkyries from Norse. But much darker and... weirder." He pauses. "Watari? The notebook, please."

Watari nods and pulls a small leather-bound journal out of his briefcase, which he hands to the officer closest to him.

"Please pass this around the conference. Everyone must touch some part of this notebook. Then we'll explain."

Confused murmurs fill the conference room as the officers pass the Death Note between themselves, unsure what L is talking about. A few rumors even circulate about him maybe being drunk or high. After a few minutes, the note finds its way back into Watari's hands and he gestures to L, showing that he has it again.

L nods, although the INTERPOL officers can't see it. "Aright. Light?"

Light picks up an apple that was sitting on the desk next to the computer. He casually tosses it over his shoulder and a huge, dark shape quickly plucks it out of the air. The detectives gasp in horror as the dark mass forms itself into a tall, lanky, grey-skinned man with spiky hair, glowing eyes, and a menacing smile. The monster downs the apple in three bites and grins at the monitor displaying the video feed of the conference.

“Hey guys!” he says enthusiastically, “The name’s Ryuk. I’m a Shinigami! And I’m the one who was possessing Light here.” He slaps Light's shoulder. "Another Shinigami was possessing Misa, but she already left for the Shinigami Realm."

(That’s a blatant lie. Rem is simply invisible to them, although she stands protectively over Misa. She’s insisted on staying with her, even if Misa isn’t the second Kira anymore and doesn’t remember how they met.)

Light jumps in. "I picked up his Death Note about a year ago, and since then, he's had complete control over me. Up until a few days ago, that is. I was finally able to kick him out and help Misa to get rid of hers."

"My soulmate is so brave!" Misa exclaims, hugging his arm tighter.

Light grimaces and gently pushes her off. "Yeah, thanks Misa. Anyway, we had no idea we were killing people. We were barely aware of anything while we were possessed. And now that they're gone, well, like I said, we know we did it but we don't remember actually _doing_ it."

It takes a lot of convincing, but once L shows the INTERPOL officers the (heavily edited) security camera footage of their confinement, they can't deny it. In the end, they decide to keep Misa and Light under surveillance for another year and send Ryuk back to the Shinigami Realm, so long as he promises not to return. They allow L to carry out the surveillance, since he already has them kept in the task force headquarters.

They're free. Well, kind of. They're stuck in the tower for a year, but other than that, they're free. They're not going to be arrested, or executed, and details aren't even going to be reported to the media.

As soon as the conference is over, L runs down from their apartment to the office and envelops Light in a hug.

"We did it," L murmurs, burying his face in Light's shoulder.

"We did," Light responds, tightening his hold on his soulmate.

Now that he's free to be with him, without Kira or anyone else getting in the way, he's never going to let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chap isn’t super important, but it helps show some of the development of L and Light’s relationship. Also I just really wanted some goofiness in this fic, LOL. 
> 
> I may or may not be working on a sequel for this... Something, like, super fluffy without any specific plot. Probably one of those 30 day OTP challenges. I might end up moving next chap into that one, but we’ll see.


	13. Requiem, pt. 2: The Seasons Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light decide where they’re going to go from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA L and Light have a conversation they probably should've had months ago minutes before L and the Wammy's Bois meet the rest of Light's family, LOL. 
> 
> My laptop died in the middle of writing this chap and I lost most of it, as well as my AN at the end. That's the first time this has happened for this fic. Yay for having to re-write several hundred words from memory.

“I hate everything about this,” L grumbles, glaring at himself in the mirror.

He and Light are preparing for dinner with Light's family, and Light had somehow convinced him to dress up for it. He's wearing jeans that actually fit and a suit jacket over a white button up. All of which are out of Light's closet. Light even managed to get a comb through his hair and tie it up into a ponytail.

“I think you look great,” Light says, wrapping his arms around L's waist from behind and gently putting his head on his shoulder.

L still tenses under his touch, but he doesn't push him away anymore. He sighs. “Why do I have to do this, again? It's just your family. Your father already knows me.”

“You're doing this because your younger brothers have better senses of style than you, and they're fifteen. Fifteen, L! You're twenty-five, and you dress like you're fucking homeless!”

“Near is thirteen.”

“All the more reason!” Light cries, letting go of L and throwing his hands up. He walks to his closet to finish getting ready. “Be glad I'm not making you put shoes on. Don't you want to impress my mother and sister?”

“Not really,” L mumbles, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. “As soon as this year is up, we're moving to London, aren't we? We're not really going to see them much after that.”

Light freezes in the middle of tying his tie. “We... are?”

“I can't stay in Japan forever. Normally I'm based out of London, so it would probably be best for me to move back there. You could stay in Japan if you wanted to, but...” L trails off, looking at Light through the mirror.

_“No!”_

L jumps at the raised voice and Light sighs, stepping towards him.

“I'm sorry. I mean, no, I don't want to stay in Japan. Not if you're moving back to London. I want to stay with you.” He sits on their bed, head in his hands and tie completely forgotten around his shoulders. “I just wish you hadn't sprung it on me less than half an hour before dinner with my parents.”

L sighs and squats in front of his boyfriend, placing his hand on Light's knee. “I'm sorry, Light. I suppose it was wrong for me to just assume you would want to come with me. Just because we're soulmates, doesn't mean you have to stay with me. You can stay in Japan, and we can do long distance until you're ready to move to London. You don't have to come with me right away.”

“I want to,” Light insists, lowering his hands and looking L in the eyes. “Like I said, I just wish we'd talked about this sooner. Or at the very least, not right before you meet the rest of my family. But I do. Want to go with you. I want to work with you and live with you and solve cases with you and... and spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t want to lose you ever again.”

“Okay. If you're sure. I don’t want to lose you either.” L nods. He leans up and gently presses a soft kiss to Light's lips.

He's gotten better about physical affection and kissing. At least, as long as he starts it, or if Light asks him first. If Light surprises him with it, he still reacts somewhat. Not as drastically as when he nearly shoved him out of their bed a few months ago, thankfully. But when L is the one initiating it, he's completely fine.

Someone gags loudly behind them, and they startle apart, L falling backwards onto his ass and Light bouncing on the bed.

Mello, Matt, and Near stand in the doorway to their bedroom. Matt is covering Near's eyes, and Mello is holding a hand over his mouth, clearly the one who gagged.

“Oh, I did not need to see that,” Mello mutters, rubbing his eyes as if to erase the visual from his memory.

“You assholes ever heard of knocking?” Light shouts, scowling at them and sitting up again.

“Please do not call my brothers assholes,” L says. He stands and holds a hand out for Light to help him up. “What do you three want?”

“We just wanted to let you know that Mr. and Mrs. Yagami and Sayu are here,” Near says, pulling Matt's hand away from his eyes.

“What?” Light shouts at the same time L cries, “Already?”

“They're not supposed to be here until...” Light trails off, checking his watch. He sighs. “Two minutes ago.”

“Keep them busy. We'll be down in a little bit,” L tells the three.

They nod and hurry downstairs to occupy Light's family while Light and L finish getting ready. A few minutes later, the two join them in the restaurant-style dining room near the top of the building.

“Mom!” Light squawks as Sachiko yanks him into a tight hug.

“What?” Sachiko says jokingly, “I can't hug my only son? I haven't seen you in months! I don't get why you can't at least come home to visit.”

“Mom, we talk on the phone every night.” Light rolls his eyes, leaning into the embrace. “And you know why I can't! I have to stay here under observation until December.”

They haven't told Sachiko and Sayu _why_ he needs to stay under surveillance, just that some of the situations of the case require it. Light and Soichiro don't want to pressure them with the knowledge that Light was Kira, even if he isn't anymore. They don't know how they'd react, and Light's a little too scared to find out.

Sachiko huffs and pulls away, crossing her arms. “Well, I hope this soulmate of yours is at least treating you well while you're stuck here. Where is Misa, anyway?” Her eyes scan the room, completely glossing over L.

Light freezes. Oh. Right. He'd completely forgotten about that lie. He'd told Sayu and his mother that Misa is his soulmate. They don't even realize that she _isn't_ , much less that the scruffy man standing silently at the doorway _is_.

“Sachiko,” Soichiro says, concerned, as he steps forward and places a hand on her shoulder.

Light shakes his head and gestures to his father that he's got this. “Mom, this is L.” He walks over to L and takes his hand. “My soulmate. My _real_ soulmate. Misa was threatening me; she made me pretend. We aren't actually soulmates.”

“I knew it!” Sayu cries, bouncing over to Light from where she's talking to L's brothers. “I _knew_ Misa wasn't your soulmate! You're a terrible liar, Light. I knew you'd never be interested in her. You're gay, right?”

“Sayu!” Sachiko gasps, shocked that her daughter would assume something like that about Light. And maybe a little shocked that, yes, he _is,_ and wow doesn’t that make sense? Somehow, she knew without even realizing it.

Light and L blink in surprise, glancing at each other. Light had only recently come to terms with it himself, thanks to a discussion with L that had lasted almost a full night. How did _Sayu,_ his normally oblivious teenage sister, realize it before he did?

“Uh... yeah,” Light says hesitantly, staring at her in confusion. “How... what?”

Sayu scoffs. “Come on, it's obvious! You've never shown any interest in girls! Plus, do you remember when you won the tennis championship the first time? When those older guys came over to congratulate you, you were a blushing, stuttering mess.”

Light blushes and looks at the floor, avoiding L's eyes as his soulmate chuckles quietly. “Sayu, you were ten! How do you remember that?”

“How do I remember how I found out you're into dudes? I feel like that's something anyone would remember.”

“I bet it was adorable,” L says, grinning conspiratorially at Sayu.

“Oh, I have pictures if you wanna see.” Sayu shrugs. “I was really into photography back then.”

“Sayu!” Light shouts, offended that his sister would _betray_ him like this.

L nods seriously. “I'll give you my number before you leave. Send them to me.”

Sayu giggles. “You got it!”

“I hate both of you,” Light grumbles, attempting and failing to hide his blush with his hand that isn't holding onto L.

“No you don't,” L responds, chuckling and gently pecking Light's cheek where his hand doesn't cover it.

Light sighs and lowers his hand, gazing fondly at his soulmate. “No, no I don't.”

They stand around talking for a little bit longer before Watari enters with a cart full of food. After that, they all sit down at one of the large tables to start eating.

Despite their teasing, Light is immensely thankful that L and Sayu are getting along so well. Once Sachiko gets over her shock, she gets along with L as well, instantly going into over-protective-mother-mode when she realizes all L's going to eat is a piece of cake. His father's relationship with L is still a little rocky at first, but by the end of the night he doesn't even care that L was his and Light's boss just a few months ago. He's just glad that Light has found someone who's made him happy, and that he makes happy in return.

And they are. Happy. It might have taken a lot to get here, but neither of them have felt ever felt happier than they are in this moment, surrounded by people they love and tightly holding each other's hands under the table.

It isn't the first time—and it certainly won't be the last—that they both silently vow to never let each other go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the finale! I love everyone who's stuck around so much, and I’m genuinely ecstatic that you’ve enjoyed reading my crappy fic. Hopefully I'll write some more LawLight fics soon, and I'm already working on the first chapter for a sequel to this. (It’s just a 30 day OTP challenge, so super fluffy with no real plot.) Thank you all so much!!!
> 
> Whoop, just noticed this: this is being posted on the one month anniversary of when I posted the first chap of this. Totally unplanned, but I think it’s awesome that this worked out that way.


End file.
